Medication not helping

[42 lady]

After more than 20 years on and off various antidepressants I have to face the reality-they no longer help, they make me feel worse. I am giving up. If I have 'treatment resistant-depression' it is because the medications have failed, not me, but it feels like I have failed, just another thing to feel hopeless about.

[Croix]

Dear 42 Lady~

I really do not like that term "treatment resistant", it implies in some way the treatment is right, but something is wrong with you, and that is why it does not work. "Does not respond to ineffective treatment" would be a better way of putting it.

I've tried a lot of different medications over the years, most either did nothing or made me too dopey to live a normal life, except for one that made me 'manic'. I think some may actually have magnified the depression.

That's not the case now, life has turned around, and although there are still ups and downs they are not extreme enough to stop me living a pretty good life. I'm afraid it was a case of perseverance to reach this recovery point, and that turned out to be an unusual set of meds, but they have no real side effects and work.

When I started out I was suicidal, now I would certainly not want to stop living.

When depression was bad I simply thought there was no remedy that would ever anything, however that was partly because my thinking and lack of hope was being caused by the depression itself.

I read in your other post that you were having employment hassles over your condition having just finished a course of TMS.

Did your doctor give any indication as to how long it might be before TMS would start to have a noticeable effect?

Also your battle with employer (as Tony White Knight set out) is depressing enough in itself. May I ask if that has now been settled?

I hope to hear from you again

Croix

[jaz28]

Hi 42 lady,

I am sorry you are feeling this way, it must be really hard. I know you have tried medication, but have you also seen a psychologist alongside this? Research shows that medication alone is not necessarily helpful in preventing your depression from relapsing, it just soothes your symptoms. You are recommended to see a therapist or psychologist alongside medication if your condition warrants it because you can learn the cognitive skills to work through your depression (which will help prevent relapse). Have you considered this?

You have not failed, you are in a period of relapse - your mental illness recovery is not linear, and you will have ups and downs, but I promise you it can get better - but you also have to be open to this and maybe consider therapy as the next option (entirely your choice though).

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx

[42 lady]

Hi Jaz,

thanks for replying, of course I have has psychological therapy alongside medication. It has been 'disjointed' over the years dues to moving, or psychologists moving, or not being able to afford. I have currently used my 20 for the year, I did not know this until after my psychologist told me she had moved! I was advised by pain clinic (psychologist also exiting me after 2 years)to find a clinical psychologist, and guess what they charge almost as much as psychiatrists, only one has a reduced fee with concession so I have booked one in Jan, another one with a gap of $89 in Feb in case i don't like the first one. Why is it so hard? Apparently next year it is back to 10 sessions per year making it even harder. There are so many types of 'therapy', I need trauma specialist.

Cheers

[42 lady]

Hi Croix,

my latest realization, after having botox injections into my jaw, at the cost of $1000, i must have been getting relief as it has now worn off and the clenching is terrible. i was told it may last 3-6 months, that was September. since then i have changed meds, and now can't tolerate them, so i think psychiatrists are useless. i have lost faith in my Dr, not being able to find a medication that doesn't make clenching worse. i know he will say 'take medication at night' I tried that and am too sedated the next day. i can't do this anymore, no more pills.

it was also not explained that TMS is 'temporary', I now cannot afford 'maintenance tms'. i will have to cancel my insurance soon. So it's scary but psychological therapy may be the only option for me, luckily i have some funding from victims services, otherwise i could not afford that either. no wonder people end their lives, it's all about $$$$$$, if you have no money you are worthless.