Maybe i just need someone to understand me!

[MAR]

Hello everyone,
a brief, i have been jobless for over years now, trying but nothing seems to work, i am 37 male, single, live with mother and sisters, and nephews; family tension is always there. and it is frustrating. i am creative, and i am pro-photographer, this gives you an idea that i pay attention to details.
I for as long as i can remember worry a lot,to an extent that it gets to me negatively, even when i was a kid, i remember to have stomach spasm after my school exams.
2 years ago, i suffered, from what i found was Depersonilization or Derealization, due to smoking a couple of puffs of weed, some told me, it is not that, and the over all was stress. but it went well after that...as this feelign started fading away.

lately,i am being consumed by fear, fear of illness,

death, and i start analyzing everything that is happening in my body... i suffered my first anxiety or panic attack last week,and it was scary, did EKG, blood tests, everything was normal,but cant stop thinking of it.. visited a  neurologist, who told me that i am in early stages of depression, he gave me dietery supplements,and medication to help me sleep.
but still, i have this foggy head,tightness in my chest, i feel like something is holding and strangling my neck,something holding that back of my head,and still worry about everything,and honestly i am becoming creatively pessimistic in all aspects of life.
I am a religious person, and suddenly i start asking question that i can not answer,which creates this kind of being in a dark alley feeling, then thinking about my health,then thinking what;s happening to me? am i going to stay this way? i wasn't like this before,...i want o my old me.
and it frustrates me when i try to talk to someone and he tells me it is all in your head,and you can change your situation, as if i i happy with i am in now, and i want it.
been through a lot lately, i don't know if it depression,or anxiety. will it change when my life style changes...

its just that

i feel down, and at times, i feel ok (and i will be very happy), and then boom, down the drain i go again.sometimes i feel i wish i am in dream and snap out of my mood.i dont want to be this way, i want my old me back .

Maybe i need a few words or maybe i just want to let the steam out.

thank you for your time 🙂

[AGrace]

Hi MAR,

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Hopefully you feel like you have let of some steam, and hopefully you will also feel supported here by people who can understand and empathise with what you are going through.

It does sound a lot like you are experiencing anxiety and depression, and often the two go hand in hand. I know you mentioned that you saw a Neurologist and they have prescribed some medication to help with sleep and diet, have you also been back to a GP to get some help with the mental health issues? It might be worth tackling both the anxiety and depression from a few different angles. What do I mean by this? Medication can have some effect - usually an anti depressant to begin with, and possibly a mood stabiliser or sedative to help with the panic. Lifestyle changes are also important - it's easier said than done but you need to find some time to be in a stress free environment - this might be taking time to walk along the beach on your own, reading a book in a park by yourself etc, lifestyle also takes into consideration diet, sleep, exercise, and pleasurable, enjoyable activities. The third angle would be to consider seeing a Psychologist so that you can talk through how you are feeling and get some strategies to better cope with anxiety and depression symptoms.

No one wants to be this way, but sometimes it can be easier to accept that we are the way we are for now, become more aware of how we are feeling and possibly what some of the triggers might be, and then to take action (by doing the above).

You might like to take a look at the following threads:

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY under the Anxiety section of the forums, and

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION under the Depression section. Both threads have some ideas for what you can try in the interim to help you manage your symptoms a little easier.

I hope this is helpful, and I apologise it took a while for you to get a reply. I think BB were having some technical difficulties with the website yesterday.

AGrace