Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Lost partner suddenly to cancer/eating disorder/control

Community Member

I did post a while ago. I lost my partner to cancer earlier this year and now I find my eating disorder has come back as I cant control anything else in my life nor can I control the fact he left this earthly plane so suddenly. I've suffered an eating disorder for years (diagnosed) and now I feel I'm falling into that same path again. Its the one thing I can control. Its his NV birthday Wednesday and I'm feeling so sad as he should still be here. 


3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Puddles1974,

I am so sorry for your loss. I went back to your original post so I know what happened and I really feel for you.

I have not lost a partner but have lost 3 family members to cancer and have had it myself. Life can feel brutal at times and those special occasions in the first year are the hardest to get through. Do you have something planned to honor his memory on his birthday?

The sadness can feel overwhelming at times and I can only imagine the heartbreak that you are going through. I'm sure everything feels out of control at the moment but if there is any way to avoid going back down the path of your eating disorder, you owe it to yourself to try and I feel sure your partner would not want to see you fall back into that pattern either. What would he say to help you if he were here? Have you looked into any grief counselling either one on one or in a group? We are here to support you so be sure to let us know how you are going moving forward.

Sending you a warm hug,


Hi Indigo. I am seeing a counselor at the moment and due to see a mental health place early August. It's just very hard at the moment dealing with everything. I have a big operation in August and everything seems overwhelming. I'm quite over ppl saying "life goes on". I lost my partner and my whole world stopped. To some ppl life does go on, but for me it doesn't. Thank you for ur reply. do



Hi again Puddles,

I am glad to hear you are getting some support from a counsellor. It does get overwhelming, when you are grieving, all you want to do is be left alone with your feelings, but it seems everyone wants a piece of you because life is still going on for everyone else whilst you are in a state of shock and limbo. People who tell you "life goes on" are the ones who either, have never lost anyone or don't know what to say to comfort you. I have had people tell me how "others have it worse", but loss is a personal journey and it is different for everyone. Try not to take it to heart when they say the wrong thing. I hope all goes well in August for you, please let me know how you are whenever you feel up to it.

Take care,