Lost my lover under the moonlight..

[UnderTheMoonlightWithMyFe]

Hello. I would like to introduce myself as a sad 15 year old girl losing hope. I am currently in a relationship with someone who I have no shame in introducing as the love of my life. We have talked for 2 years and dated officially for 9 months. These past two weeks have been very hard for me. I have detached myself from the norm, my sleeping schedule is irregular, I can’t be bothered taking care of myself, I can’t be bothered eating, I have emotion outbursts which hurt a lot of my friends and my amazing boyfriend and I also need attention a lot and validation. I however have a bad habit of unintentionally making people feel at fault for my situation.. I don’t mean to do it, it just happens. (This is where my boyfriend comes in.) I also have a bad habit of overthinking. I believe my boyfriend hates me. I believe he wants to stay with me for my body even when he constantly tells me he doesn’t... and tbh.. I don’t know anymore, because when we’re together he can’t seem to control himself and we end up having sex 2-3 times in a row. He’s been here for almost 3 years so what if all these bad thoughts are true? He constantly validates me and tells me What he loves about me and I trust him.. but I’m very insecure and overthink every little situation. I end up having emotion outbursts and taking things out on him.. because he has a rough past which would make any girl leave. I don’t know what to do. I love him genuinely... but I feel and though I’ve been bothering him so much lately that he hates me..

~ Moonlight

[Croix]

Dear Moonlight~

I'm not sure it is your boyfriend that is the main problem, from what you say you seem to be having a hard time of it, and that is breeding overthinking, distrust and anger

You said that for the last couple of weeks things have been really bad, not eating or caring for yourself, anger and putting friends off, plus you are finding you need more support - you called it attention and validation.

You have known your BF for a fair while but have only really been together in under a year. You're also worried he does not want you for you, but for sex, which sort of fits in with your other worries.

So I guess the first thing to ask is anything being happening of more recent times that has been a big worry for you, change school year and friends, problems with parents, anything you can think of? You may have some other idea why you are feeling this way.

The second thing is both you and your BF are finding out about life, relationship, yourselves, and it is not easy. In the process anyone might not handle things as well as they might.

So what to do? I guess the first thing is to realize that trying to keep on going by yourself is not the best idea. Normally a first step is to talk things over with someone else, which can be a parent, or perhaps a councilor or teacher at school, or maybe the Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) if you are reluctant to talk to anyone else.

I would imagine if your BF does keep trying to reassure you then it is more than a physical realtionship. Being bothered by someone you care for is not the end of the world and simply does not result in hate.

So what do you think about all the above? Life can be better and so can how you feel.

Croix