Long Days, Tough Times

[Anon98]

Hello guys.

This is my first post here, and I'm unsure how exactly to say it, so here goes:

Today is probably the most down I've felt before. I'm tired and I'm struggling to find happiness ahead. I've struggled with sleep and the ability to find joy since I started back at uni 4-5 weeks ago. I'm a full time student and have been since I started. It's not that I don't like my degree, it's just I struggle to motivate myself. I suffered days in year 12 with a lack of motivation, but it would clear up after a day or two. This year however, I often have thoughts as to why I'm doing what I'm doing or what the point of doing uni or anything is. I find it hard to talk about this with my family, as my dad seems overly confident and hard to talk to, and I don't know how mu mum would react.

This morning was particularly unusual for me. I woke up perfectly fine this morning (first time in weeks), but after I left home for uni, I started feeling flustered and questioning myself. I was trying not to break down on the way to the city. I just don't know why.

I created this account this morning because I needed to vent out my issues anonymously. I don't know what to do. I looked online, but I feel it is over generic and not very helpful (even though it could be). I feel like I need to have a break and do something fresh, but that was the half the point for entering uni. I figured the longer travel times and the fresh air would be good, but nowadays it's just a long walk.

What do I do? I've never had any thoughts of self harm, let alone suicide, but I need a plan to improve my quality of life.

Thank-you for any help that you guys provide.

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Anon

Welcome to our forums. Thanks for taking the time to share what is going on with you.

First of all congrats for getting into uni. What are you studying?

I remember struggling with uni and wondering if I would be better off just jumping into the workforce. But I ended up finishing uni and then I was able focus on my next steps.

It is great that you want to improve your quality of life. Do you have other things going on besides uni? A part time job? What are your hobbies? Sometimes a few fun distractions can put everything into perspective. Your uni might have some social groups you can join.

Blue Jane

[MsPurple]

hi Anon98 and welcome to the forums. This is a good place to vent and get support from other anonymous users like yourself.

It sounds like you are going through a tough time. It sounds like you have been down and lacking motivation for a while. Have you discussed it with your GP? I think it would be a good start. On top of this page there is a tab called 'the facts' and you can do the 'k10 checklist'. I know sometimes seeing the gp can be daunting but it is a good step to help improve your mood and motivation in the long run.

You said you are a full time student. You know every university has a counselling service. They are either free or low cost. I suggest if you think this road would be useful to maybe make some enquiries. I also went to headspace (youth mental health service) while I was at Uni as it was more convienet for me as it was close to my house and it was low cost. I also signed up for disability services through my university. I got my therapist to sign the paperwork for me to make me eligible. This allows you to get some support from your university if you are struggling with your mental health. They don't tell your co-ordinators that you have a mental illness but they let them know you are a part of disability services (you could have diabetes for all they know). It helps give you some security because they can help you make an academic care plan to help you succeed at uni.

When you say you have thoughts of self harm this is an indicator that something isn't quite right. It can be a sign of anxiety and/or depression. I kept getting intrusive thoughts (unwanted random disturbing thoughts) of me dying. It was terrifying. But through therapy and getting help those thoughts reduced till they finally went away. Just make sure if you get a really strong urge to make sure you are safe. Call beyond blue or lifeline they are hear to help. Or you can just make yourself busy by going to a friends house.

Hope some of this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I have been in your shoes and I know how hard it is. But you can succeed at uni with a mental illness

MP

[J_M_12345]

Hey there!

Thanks for reaching out! Best thing you did today, and it really makes evident your willingness and determination to get out of your current situation. This is certainly a space for you to vent. Personally, venting, writing, talking helps me a lot with my mental health so I think this is probably going to help you too.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this low. It makes things a lot harder - getting along with family and friends, doing well at uni - even getting through the day! Feeling like this for several weeks is very hard. Have you thought about contacting a professional, such as a university counsellor or you local GP? Whilst I obviously can't diagnose you here, and that is solely for a qualified health professional to do, I do recall having a similar lack of of motivation and those annoying questions about what the point of anything is, in my bouts of depression. So it is probably worthwhile to get that checked out with your GP. Because if you do have a mental illness, it is highly treatable - trust me! This hopefully, would improve your quality of life.

Otherwise, mental illness or not, speaking to a university counsellor or psychologist may help put you back on track. I'm sorry you don't feel you can speak with your parents. It can be tough to talk to parents about these things sometimes. Have you got a good group of friends you think you can talk to? As I said before, I think talking is super helpful! Of course, keep using this forum as a means to vent.

Finally, I'm glad you're at a point where you don't have thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Never give up on getting better. The situation sounds tough, but always tell yourself that you're tougher. I am a firm believer in the fake-it-till-you-make-it approach so, whilst I don't recommend you "fake" being better (not that I think you can), do "fake" a confidence in your strength and a belief in your ability to cope till you believe it. For example, when I am feeling super down and weak and my studies and family and everything seems to be falling apart, I literally tell myself out loud that "I can and will make it through this" even though it may not feel like it. Sounds pretty cheesy and silly, but it works for me! So tell yourself you will get help and that with this help you will improve your life again and get back to the old you.

And hopefully then, you will.

Keep in touch and hope that helps.

With love,

Josette