Keep loosing interest in things.

[s_l_w]

Hi people !,

I've been diagnosed with depression for atleast the last few years now. This last year i've been managing with a few ups and downs but getting there.

What im currently still having trouble with is keeping myself interested and motivated to do things...its really strange because i'll be really obsessed with a new idea or hobby I'd want to persue and think about it excessively for atleast a week...then slowly loose interest again before ive even tried. I seem to do the same thing when meeting new guys. I'll be interested in them for a little while then id automatically loose interest after about a week...could this be insecurity or maybe something deeper than that?.

If anyones been through the same thing i'd love some tips to get myself out of this cycle. Feel like ill be waisting even more of my life if I dont 😔

Xxx

[s_l_w]

Sorry I forgot to mention when I mean obsessed I mean ill stay up till like 4am thinking about it nearly every night 😖 haha

[geoff]

hello s.l.w, I know it's annoying because it happens to me, but I wonder whether you have been diagnosed with OCD which is anxiety and when you have this it also means that you have depression.
You build yourself up so much about doing something you're really excited about but then it suddenly stops, and often you hear people saying to someone 'why have you stopped, I thought you loved doing it, well yes but I don't any more'.
It's no different than changing from one obsession to another, google OCD and see if it helps you. Geoff.

[PaulB]

You sound very much like me, not being able to stick to things.

[Fixer]

HI s.l.w.,

I fit your club membership rules! I’ve been coping with a dysthymic/anhedonic state since my early twenties (some time ago now). Every couple of months, I have a fantastic idea. An idea that might change the lives of others, a business idea that is novel and is sure to succeed, an adventure I’d love to go on, a different approach to renovating my house, and the list goes on. I get passionate about the idea, I spend a week to a month exploring it, producing spreadsheets, designing the product (I’m an industrial designer), writing a business plan, talking to consultants, sometimes I throw money into it - and then I either lose interest in it or I more on to the ‘Next Big Thing’.


The thing is, I can look back on any of those plans and I still think “it would have been great” so its not like it was just a dumb idea I got obsessed with naively. In several cases I’ve seen my ideas made real by others later. (Incidentally, I don’t feel any anger or resentment about that, I just think ‘good on you for getting it done’).


Perhaps Geoff is right in suggesting that it could be OCD but, I don’t believe that fits for my situation.


I’ve come to think that I take the idea as far as I can until the point where it needs to prove itself. Thats when all my energy for it dissipates. I feel like while the idea is still conceptual it can be everything you want it to be but, as soon as you put it out there, there is a chance of failure - that your ideas aren’t as good as you professed them to be. Or worse, that you are not as good/clever as you thought. And I think thats what I fear.


So in a sense, your thinking of it being an insecurity, is certainly a part of what I feel but I think there is another aspect to it that you could consider. You said that this also happens with meeting new guys, and this made me think about how we sometimes hold ourselves and others to (impossibly) high standards. This, I think, is protects us by giving us a way out when things get even the slightest bit uncomfortable. In my experience, this is more detrimental than helpful because it stops us taking chances.

I’ve had some success by gradually relaxing my standards/expectations and easing myself into new situations. Happy to discuss it further if any of this rings true for you.

Take care!