I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 5 years, I am on medication, my doctor says he's surprised at how well I cope, I am open and honest about my bipolar. But when you are down you are down, I try not to let it explode, I try not to take it out on those around me, I have learnt it is best to say "my bipolar is giving me a bad time".
But sometime you need to let all the garbage in your head out, but experience has taught me you don't talk to other people with issues as it makes mine worse, talking to friends can be OK but they can only handle it once or twice, my husband as brilliant as he is, has worn enough. So there is no one to talk to.
I am down, I am heading to the bottom and I know it, I know I will crash - I have held it off for as long as I can, 3-5 weeks, I know I will have to take a couple of days off work and deal with it but I am over fighting it. Since being on medication I can see it happening I try to stop it, I am lucky sometimes it works, I haven't had a major for 18 months and my majors seem to not last long, getting to the bottom does but once there I seem to pick up the pieces and move on. I have to keep finding new ways to get through it; there is no rhyme or reason as to why it happens it just happens.
I needed to say this I can’t say it out loud, I have walked away from this a few times as the tears slip I know I will have to let go and deal with the down. Thank you for listening I can go and let go now and start the journey back up to day to day living.
