ITs time to tell them about my bipolar..but how?

[Nad]

Hello BB Citizens,

its been 5 years now since i have been diagnosed with bipolar type 2. Since then, i've gone through sooo many different medications and each day is a roller coaster ride for me. For those that don't know i'm bp, they just see me as an emotional guy that goes up and down. I get judged that i'm temperamental and unstable. My mornings are ridiculous difficult. To be precise, i wake up tired, not motivated, afraid of the day, afraid of peoples judgement, uncomfortable in my own skin, nausious, light headed, electric shock to the face feeling. This is easily presented in my facial and body expression. So when i'm at work between 8-10 people say "mate, u look dead, get more sleep". after 10 i'm back to stable normal or if there's something exciting happening, i go along with it. Then around 2pm i'm back to the same dead feeling.

I was absent at work for 3 weeks having ECT treatment and working from home. alot of questions were flung around the office as to what happen to me but my manager didn't tell them. Due to ECT not working, i'm now about to do rTMS which will consume around 1 month off work. i'm planning now to email all people i interact with at work about my bp and the journey i've been on however i don't know how to deliver this information to them. i don't want to be emailing everyone making it like a sob story or a sympathy stab.....

Can i get some suggestions please

[demonblaster]

Hi Nad

I'm BP 1 & more so 2 (Rapid cycler, more than)

Good on you coming out with it, I'm a strong believer in educating people about it all, yeah drive em nuts but if they know they might understand and support, better than what you're having atm, them saying you're whacked looking etc.

I think but it's up to you, do what you feel comfortable with, Tell them from the beginning, what it's like, how you feel, you did well here too btw. Most people can relate to at some times in their lives lack of sleep but this on top I really think you're doing right by yourself and others to inform them. Good idea email, then you can edit without distractions if talking face on.

rTMS?

Would like to know how you go with everything

All the very best.

[Croix]

Dear Nad~

Do you mind if I ask why you want to let your co-workers know?

I don't have BP but still relate to your decision to talk. I've PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression and have been in various workforces for a very long time.

Like you my condition can affect my work, and also to be honest I guess people's perception of me. Apart from breaking off conversations likely to cause me distress I'm basically in a situation where disclosure can be voluntary.

As time has gone on I've come to the conclusion that if nobody with a MH condition talked about it things would never improve and stigma would remain rampant. So in general I've done what I can. However for people in my workforce I've never been able to make a blanket announcement, it has in each case been a person to person thing, where I've been able to gauge reaction as I went.

Sadly for whatever reason there are some still who are not sympathetic. I often can tell from their attitude and comments about fellow workers or acquaintances who are in any way different. I guess the most harmful are those who pay lip service to equality but actually behave in the opposite way.

As you have asked for suggestions I'll say that I'd advise doing what I do and get a support base of rational people by talking to each in person, not email, and see how you go. When you are confident enough that you will have a reasonable level of support by all means tell the rest if you think it the way to go, though even there I'd do so in person.

I've been fortunate in that things have worked out pretty well for me, but can also imagine situations where that was not the case

I too would very much like to know how you get on.

Croix

[Guest_128]

Hey Nad,

I'm straight forward sorry this is my thoughts,

The ones that understand are like us,

Then you have the ones that have a very close loved one who is like us,and they try,

You have the ones that don't know yet,

There are the ones that won't tell,

Dont make it an issue,it will turn to crap, and definitely do your head in.

pluss its none of there business,unless they get it.

You have other things in your life to concentrate on,eg YOU.

WELCOME ABOARD,

Dory

[Guest_128]

Ps

GO NADS

[Nad]

I Totally agree with you and your observation is one that my wife tells me all the time. i just don't understand why i can't apply this feeling and perspective. it annoys the crap out of me. its like when i do something small and feel guilty for doing it yet i'm constantly told not to feel guilty as its a small thing.

anyway...i totally agree with you dory

[meercat]

Hi Nad.

I know this bp life is not easy and i admire your going to work. Im retired 64 years old, 43 on meds but still on a rollercoaster.

The feelings you describe are all too familiar, the guilt and rejection.

What should i tell everyone..how can i explain to my work colleagues.

I told them nothing in those days..when i was high i was just happy, when i hibernated, id tell them i had the flu.

Nowadays people talk about how they are feeling. I just told my neighbour i had bipolar and sometimes i need a little help. She was kind and understanding.

My husband nursed me for 3 weeks not knowing why his happy wife was so sad. He took me to his dr.

i walked up to him and said i have bipolar, had it all my life and sometimes i need a little help. He is even more loving and supportive.

So my fear of telling them was unfounded. I feel better for sharing with them.

I hope you will too.

meercat xx

Iv been diagnosed since i was 21, im now 64. Been on the same meds all that time except when i had my daughter. Not sure whether im bp1 or 2.

I came out re bipolar a week ago after chatting on BB. I feel ok now iv told my neighbour ..she was worried i was so moody, and my husband who was concerned when i went to sleep for 3 weeks.

I came across an interesting article today. It explained what bp is about and how to manage it. Iv never had anyone explain it to me.

[MarnieH]

Hi Nad - I was diagnosed bipolar type 2 last year (and had 26 sessions of rTMS as well as some medication tweaks) and I feel amazing now. I'm like a different person - I hope it works as well for you!

I think you're amazing and brave to share your story. Everyone has a different path and I really hope yours gets easier every day and that rTMS gives you some light.

Like Meercat I think you're brilliant to be going to work while feeling so rubbish. Mentally congratulate yourself for the wins (like that one!) rather than focussing just on what you see as the downs. And with type 2 - I know there are PLENTY of downs! Just know that you aren't alone, there are people out there. You have a tribe. And I'm a member.

x

[Nad]

Hey meercat

day after day i read more articles about bp in which explains alot of what i go through. sometimes suggestions work while others dont but hey...thats internet. its always a hit and miss with some things.

Hey MarnieH

your comments are very encouraging. i forgot to answer Croix question as to why i need to tell my work colleagues. i go missing alot at work and especially coz i did ECT, i was missing for a month. soon with the TMS, i'll be missing for another month. my team members are very judgemental as well and like to judge me on my mood, looks, attitude and beliefs. i know they're joking and i guess they're fine with it because i joke too to try and not make it as awkward. but its coming to a point now where my manager suggested i tell them so that work can be alot more comfortable. i don't know how to deliver the news especially that i don't want it to become a sympathy grounds for everyone to treat me differently.i just want them to understand why i look like a dead fish in the morning, i'm emotional by midday, energetic like a sportsman by mid afternoon and dead again before i go home. i get alot of the "you're happy one minute and then u're flat down the next, u faking it?"

yes yes, i know their comments are harsh but i guess again they're saying it out of joking. they all are really nice people. imagine the nicest person you know take a plug at ur hair or weight, you don't take it to heart because they're nice and you've known them for awhile.

anyway...i might be too naive but at the end of the day, i'm adamant to tell them i guess...

With such a bad experience with EcT, i super hope that TMS brings me the happiness that has brought you MarnieH. did it cost alot for you?

[meercat]

Hi. Sounds like its time to "come out" re MI.

Yes, there should be no stigma about MI but there is still snickering and bullying at work.

Iv just explained my MI to the lady nextdoor. She has been supportive, not judgemental, taken me shopping on a down day and to the dr, and shared afternoon tea.

So maybe the people at your work just dont get it.

If i had my time again id write a brief note for the boss explaining why my days have ups and downs.

At the next work meeting Id tell all colleagues at once the same as i said to the boss, but give them the opportunity to think and ask questions later..maybe mention that sometimes i need a little help.

Im still going through my list of people i need to talk to who have been puzzled about my moods. Its not easy but it feels good to open up.

meercat xx