Is your "Beast" male, female, both or neutral and WHY?

[amamas]

My beast as I refer to him is what I call my depression.  At times he swallows me whole while at others I'm living enjoying live but he's always there, I can feel him.

Thanks to a post by was it Super_Nurse (sorry if I remembered that wrong!  My PTSD brain SUX!!) I've become aware of the strangeness of attributing a sex to the Beast, or whatever your version of it is.

I'm intrigued as to what you all call your depression and if it has an identity, male/female or other?

If you have any thoughts on why the name? why the sex or not?  does it help you?  how does it help you?

cheers amamas

[Beetle]

HI Amamas

Interesting question 🙂 My 'beast' is neutral, sex comes in the way so it doesn't has a sex. Its black and glibbery and sits in my chest. If its gone i feel light and bouncy if it has settled back in it crushes my organs.

I never thought about if. Its just there or not there.

Bloody beast, I definatly gonna cancel  the rental agreement with it. Its just such a bad bad tennant 😉

Beetle

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

I don't think I've ever attempted to personify my feelings, rather just considering them as attributes of myself.  But I'll give anything (except meth or Australian Idol) a go once.

His name is Graltar and he shoots lasers from his eyes and has a Gatling cannon for one arm and a flaming drill for the other.  This makes him very angry because he can not pick up sandwiches or undo his fly.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/84704/baubles/graltar.jpg

I picked the name "Graltar" to fit the "cheesy and cartoon-villainy" lens I chose to view this guy through.  Also, the "gral" kind of sounds like a human impression of a cat's growl, and this guy is part-cat.  He's a dude (although he is part-robot) because female cartoon villains are normally hot (so's they can manipulate the hero), and this guy isn't hot.

[MaryG]

Hey amamas,

Mine is not a beast or a creature or anything that can have a gender. It occupies negative space inside. I visualize it as a black hole of despair that sucks the life force out of me. But it does have mass and it's huge weight physically drags me down.  A black hole in space has an event horizon or a point of no return. Sometimes I can keep away from that horizon if I run fast enough, or stay completely focused on something else, but like you say with your creature, it's always there and I can feel it. 

Mary.

[Super_Nurse]

So you did start the thread???

Nice work!!

I identify my 'broken head' or my 'Psycho B**ch' or me 'having a moment' as female, because I am female.  And whether I'm well or I'm unwell, I'm still female.

It's like having a Dr Jekyl inside of me, except I'm probably a Ms Hyde rather than a Mr Hyde (again, because I'm female)

Giving my Depression a gender isn't about the depression itself having a gender, but more about what I become when my Depression makes an appearance.  I become angry, I become short tempered, I over react far too quickly, I seem to retain that anger and that bad temper as well.  I dwell on the most minute of things.  And I digress, like I might be angry about something, and then I digress to something else that angers me and my thoughts become very accelerated and fragmented.  I'm angry, but I can't seem to stay angry at the one thing! 

Basically I turn into the 'Psycho B**ch' and that's because of the Depression.  That evil little troll that lives inside of me, that ogre, that awful thing.  That person I don't necessarily like, but I have to tolerate.  That 'Psycho B**ch'

[amamas]

Hey all thanks heaps for joining the thread!

Isn't it interesting how we all view our illness in our own unique ways!

I hope more people post

cheers amamas