Is there any point seeking professional help?

[2L85iblSXm]

There is no depression amongst remote uncontacted peoples, nor is there amongst wild animals. Put a lion in a cage at the zoo, though, and he'll exhibit signs of anxiety. Put a sow (pig) in a farrowing crate and she'll experience a level of depression few here can imagine.

That's what happens when you put an animal in an unnatural environment. We're animals too and civilization is not our natural environment. Our cage is bigger, but it's there for anyone who knows what to look for.

I'm sick of it. No matter what I do, that cage will always be there. The masses will pretend it's not. I will remain miserable because freedom is dead. Forever.

It's a morbid system that demands we toil our lives away just for the scraps it takes to maintain existence. It's not worth the effort. Never will be.

I am unemployed. My unpopular perception of reality is causing tension between myself and my JobActive provider. The pressure is on now that I'm on stream C. I just know they're going to coerce me into using unethical means to apply for unethical jobs. That corrupt work for the dole scam is just around the corner too. I cannot, in good conscience, play into this system. It's an evil monster that needs to be starved to death.

Things are so bad with my JA provider that I, on their advice, had to obtain a medical exemption to get away from them. It expires in a couple of weeks and I have no idea if I can bring myself to go back there.

The doctor, unsurprisingly, was reluctant to give me a certificate over something so stupid. I'd feel uncomfortable returning so soon to tell him the details I left out of my story. Given that my goals are incompatible with the goals society has imposed on me, I don't see the point anyway.

That there is the problem - society has imposed its own goals on me. Those goals are wrong for me. All the "treatment" options have those same goals. I'm done playing their game. It's all stick and no carrot.

I don't want to be "normal". Most normal people are idiots, drones, pursuing a pointless cause. I want to be me, without the pressure to do society's bidding.

What am I to do? Even if the problem was solvable, I simply don't have the time left.

I don't even have it that bad. It's just that we all deserve better and I'm sick of pretending otherwise.

PS. This forum has some serious accessibility issues.

[blondguy]

Hey 2L85 (and Welcome Sam9466 and thanks for posting too)

Your body and mind are just that...yours 2L85..not mine...not Beyond Blues either.

The forums are a judgemental free zone and I am happy that you are here and being part of the family 🙂

I really hope your mum doesnt come back ton a corpse...seriously. Everyone on here is an individual and there are others that self manage their mental health too.

Me thinks that if you find anything no matter how tiny of use here or on any thread then we have done okay

You are not incompatible with society at all.....You are an individual and good on you 2L85 🙂

2L85 said:"It's a good thing I ordered a spare set of toner cartridges a couple of months ago. I'll need 'em!"

Good one!

Paul

[JessF]

Hello 2, you've had some wonderful caring responses from most here so I am going to be a bit of a devil's advocate.

I think you thrive on being a contrarian. You like to buck the system, and other people, in every conceivable way, without any concessions to even basic social lubricants (like choosing a forum name that others can easily address you by). In your first post, you describe most "normal people" as "idiots", and go on to say that people who take medication are "dim". With an attitude like that, people are unlikely to react well to you and want to build relationships, including here in this environment. Do you think we are all stupid as well? What are you hoping to achieve by being here? Do you want to move forward, or are you looking for a way to feel superior to others?

Society has "imposed" its goals on you, and yet you say you have no goals. You seem unwilling in your self-reflection to acknowledge anything within your ways of thinking and being that might be contributing to your current state of being stuck (you mention wild animals being depressed - I would suggest googling 'learned helplessness').

You say that "The real problem lies outside of me" and speak of your "core philosophy" in a way that comes across as morally superior. If only the world had MY superior values, ethics, beliefs about work etc, then I wouldn't be depressed, you seem to be saying.

Putting the blame on others is not going to help you move forward. I would suggest having a google of "radical acceptance" if you are looking for some solutions to help unstick things for yourself.

A bit of humility wouldn't go astray as well!

With best wishes...

[2L85iblSXm]

Fair enough. I'm actually impressed the mods let such a brutally honest opinion through.

JessF said:I think you thrive on being a contrarian. You like to buck the system, and other people, in every conceivable way

I thrive on being left alone. The system is bucking me. I don't get anything out of my existence. I've tried to conform, but it never worked for me. I'm masking my identity because I fear for my safety.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

People are scary indoctrinated. So indoctrinated, that I could probably name my core philosophy without triggering any suicides.

It's antinatalism. It's pretty tame actually. You're gonna die. It's likely to be unpleasant. You'll suffer multiple times between now and then. You never suffered before you were born. You won't remember the pleasures after you're dead. Know whose fault that is? Mummy and daddy! Your parents sentenced you to death by bringing you to life.

All creatures exist in a state of constant deprivation. The pleasure of eating is the relief of hunger. Entertainment is the relief of boredom. An orgasm is the relief of sexual frustration.

Gains are temporary, losses are permanent. Yet the mindless masses (I'm done being nice now) breed the next generation of victims because "I wanted some meaning in my life". Way to kick the can down the road.

Do you want to move forward, or are you looking for a way to feel superior to others?

There is no "forward". Sentience is a mistake. Life is a mistake. I'm trying to limp by for the sake of those too blinded to see this.

As I sat in the doctors' waiting room this morning, I noticed that half the people there had a small child with them. Chances are some of those children were the patients. So young and they're already suffering. Suffering for the narcissistic pleasure of their parents.

Society has "imposed" its goals on you ... (you mention wild animals being depressed - I would suggest googling 'learned helplessness').

I'm aware of learned helplessness. It's part of why I'm vegan. This is a matter of consent. Playing a game you like is one thing. Being forced into a game that is stupid at best is another thing entirely.

google of "radical acceptance" if you are looking for some solutions to help unstick things for yourself.

If only I had known about the joys of keeping my head in the sand sooner.

[JessF]

2 there is nothing in your philosophy that is new to me, or many of us here. Of course life can be unpleasant and involve suffering. But you are here on this earth. You have the choice of making the best of it and living a balanced life of joyfulness and pain; or choosing to see only the misery, of which there is far more than you or I can conceive in our very privileged first world lives.

I ask you again, why are you posting here? If you thrive on being left alone, what are you hoping to find here? Someone who is willing to indulge destructive thinking? This is a place where people come to find hope and support.

[2L85iblSXm]

JessF said: I ask you again, why are you posting here?

Because you revived this thread. I was done here and was moving on.

I've been back to my GP. I'll go back again for a referral to a psychiatrist.

I still regret ever coming to this forum.