Is the fog lifting?

[Leigh1987]

I have a question I would like to pose to anyone who has successfully found their way out of a depressive episode.

What changes did you first notice when a depressive episode was reaching it's conclusion? My follow up question would be how did you make the most of the changes to continue on the path to mental health?

I have been in the midst of a severe depressive episode for years now so for a long time the world has been a murky, foggy, isolated hell. Lately however I have noticed some changes in how I relate to the world. Formerly I was using my television to create noise to keep me company and distract me from my obsessive thoughts. It didn't matter what I watched, I mostly watched the same things over and over actually, the familiarity was a source of comfort. Over just the last week I have come to realise I am watching things out of a genuine interest again. And not only that but I can concentrate for lengths of time when the viewing material engages me. It may be a pleasurable activity for me again.

This seems like a small victory but it appears to me to be like a light finally shining through that fog of disconnection and despair. Should I take this to be an early step in recovery? Or is it possibly just a freak lull in symptoms? Either way what can I do to take advantage of this slither of sunshine between barely parted clouds?

I am incomprehensibly excited that I have finally enjoyed something again even if it is something as basic as watching tv. It has ignited a flicker of hope no matter how small.

[therising]

Hi Leigh

From my experience, wonderful people are typically daydreamers. Maybe we've still got that dreamy 3yo in us, you know that naturally brilliant curious little person who asks 'Why?' to just about everything that doesn't make sense.

Daydreaming is actually a fascinating topic. Read an article a little while back that went into some detail about the benefits of daydreaming. Amazing, all the parts of the brain that light up in this state while in an fMRI machine. It is said that visionaries and inventors access these parts of the brain. A lot of it's linked to imagination and natural problem solving.

I find daydreaming to be a little like meditation in a way. You're in a deeply relaxed state. Personally, while I'm in this state, I'll meditate on certain things I wonder about. Yes, it's a challenge to find that middle ground where you're not completely off with the fairies. While in this state, sometimes answers will naturally come to me. You know when you can be thinking and thinking and thinking about a problem you just can't find the solution to, when suddenly you find yourself in this meditative state and BAMM, the solution comes to you from out of nowhere. You can even be left wondering 'Where the heck did that come from?' Wonder if this has ever happened to you. Whether the answers come as visions or as words, it's interesting to exercise this part of the brain. When I say visions, it's like you can be thinking 'I just don't know what to do anymore', when suddenly an image pops into your head (once you 'zone out') of you standing on the edge of a cliff, eager to jump. While some may say 'Oh, no, that's terrible!' all this image can simply mean is 'It's time to take a leap of faith and spread your wings. Have courage'.

Some of the greatest minds in history were wonderful daydreamers. They credit a lot of their ideas to this natural ability. It's definitely an interesting topic which might offer you some insight a little outside the sqaure.

🙂

[geoff]

Hi Leigh, thanks for getting back to us.

You ave said 'when I am depressed all my mental energy is dedicated to my ruminations', well I'm not sure you are any different to anyone else suffering from MI, however, if these thoughts or obsessions are associated with intrusive thoughts, then they are thoughts that seem to become stuck in the mind.

They may reoccur frequently and cause you to feel much more concerned, disturbing or perhaps have a tendency of being violent and come out of nowhere will have an additional effect on how you are trying to cope.

There is a difference between 'daydreaming' compared to having 'intrusive thoughts' and I can say this because I have OCD.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Leigh1987]

Hey again,

Yes I definitely suffer from intrusive thoughts and it's definitely different to day dreaming which is a pleasant activity.

I see ending these unhealthy thoughts as the key to ending depression which is why the moments lately where I can focus on other things give me such a sense of hope.

On a side note I went to the gp again last night and she suggested that I might be resistant to depression interventions because she suspects it could be a misdiagnosis and I may be suffering from bpd instead.

[therising]

H Leigh1987

Experts say that daydreaming involves a different brain frequency, which explains why it's easy to achieve when we're already 'vibing high'. Almost impossible to achieve when our brain/body frequency has shifted to a low through stress. I suppose you could say that meditation is, in part, the practice of shifting frequencies. We've come a long way in this world when health insurance companies give discounts to folk who are proven to meditate on a regular basis. Regular meditation is recognised as having a positive impact on the body's physical systems (cardiovascular system, nervous system and so on). In other words - the less disease, the less disease.

Meditation is an interesting topic. I once thought 'Oh, it's about that stilling the mind stuff with a lot of chanting' until I realised I was naturally meditating on a lot of very different things:

• If I was to ask you to imagine a food you absolutely love, to the point where you could just about taste it, did your salivary glands suddenly become excited? Are you breathing differently? Did you take a sudden excited breath in, based on just the thought of that food? If you did happen to observe these things, you could say you are meditating on the physical emotion in your body. On the other hand, if I was to ask you to imagine an extremely stressful experience, did you naturally 'vent' at thought of it (sigh)? You become the observer of your physical emotion
• Have you ever found yourself sitting down, getting lost in the moment of watching the clouds go by? You could say you're meditating on the nature of whether or the nature of the clouds. If the kid in you happens to see a cloud that resembles a whale or a set of clouds that remind you of the ocean, you could say you're meditating on your imagination
• Daydreaming without wonder can be referred to as 'completely clearing the mind'. There is no thought, there is nothing. Quite a talent, hey, when you consider people practice and practice this form of meditation until they master it. Daydreaming with elements of wonder could be referred to as meditating on or channeling inspiration through an open or still mind. You know your mind is closed to possibility when you're thinking based on self limiting learned beliefs. Inspiration will typically come to us as a sudden revelation. We typically don't think up inspiration

You never know, one day health insurance discounts may be given to natural daydreamers. Imagine that 🙂