Incorrect bipolar diagnosis?

[JJ03]

Hi everyone,

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar II, but am slightly confused about the diagnosis for a couple of reasons. First - the hypomanic element. I have read that hypomania falls generally into two different kinds - euphoric hypomania and irritable hypomania. I experience both (not at the same time - on separate occasions). When I am euphoric, I dominate conversation in social circles, have increased self-esteem, am intensely focused on particular activities, have lots of ideas etc. More commonly though, it manifests itself as extreme irritability; I pace a lot, get frustrated when people cannot keep up with my ideas, am angered easily, quite paranoid etc. Is that possible to experience the two kinds of hypomania? Another concern of mine is that I do not have sleepless nights. I definitely have a lot of difficulty going to sleep/winding down at night (staying awake until 2 or 3), and often have restless nights and wake up feeling fine. But I have never done something like stay awake for 2 days. Does it still count as hypomania if my sleep is as I have described?

Second, when I am depressed, I only am completely debilitated for less than a week (as in, can't get out of bed, feel suicidal etc.). For the rest of my depressive episodes, I find it difficult to muster up the energy to socialise, utterly hate myself, am not motivated, cry for no reason, feel worthless etc. but am still able to do things like go to uni, do an assignment, or see a friend if I need to. Do my depressive episodes still count as depression?

I am concerned that I in fact do not have bipolar and am rather just a really volatile person trying to justify my erratic behaviour when it is just who I am.

[Swan_13]

Hi JJ03,

Thanks for sharing your concerns. It sounds like you really want to get more of an understanding of your diagnosis, which is great. Keeping well informed is always helpful.

While there's often common symptoms associated with different disorders, I feel as though no two people experience the exact same set of symptoms. From my understanding, there's no exact number of hours that someone has to stay awake for to be diagnosed with bipolar. The fact that you have difficulty going to sleep says to me that it's affecting your day to day life. Everyone's presentation may look slightly different.

In saying that, I think it's definitely something that you could raise with your psychologist/psychiatrist. At the end of the day, you are the expert of your own body. I'm sure whoever gave you the diagnosis would be happy to talk your concerns through with you. Do you have the opportunity to do this?

[quirkywords]

JJ03,

Welcome to the forum.

I was diagnosed so long ago when bipolar was called manic depression.

I understand your confusion being recently diagnosed and trying to work out where you fit in.

As Swan says no two people experience the exact same symptoms even if they have same diagnosis.

I used to for many many years think I had the wrong label and rebelled against it. It is confusing and wondering what our symptoms mean. The guidelines or definitions of bipolar 11 are just that guidelines.

I agree with Swan to talk to your pysch , and you are an expert on your symptoms. I used to write things down and keep a mood journal, so I could work out for myself how my moods affected my behaviour. It is also good for seeing a pattern.

I have met people with bipolar who sleep very well, others like you who sleep ok but take a while to sleep and those like me who are restless sleepers.

Your depressive episodes sound familiar as everyone affects them in everyway. Some people may never spend any time in bed and be able to work, others may stay in bed for weeks and others are in between.

There is a thread called This bipolar life if you want to come along and say hello. It is a friendly helpful group and you can ask questions and others will share their experience with you.

JJO3, Thanks so much for sharing your story.

Quirky

[JJ03]

Hi Swan.13, thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly and for easing my concerns. You're right - I will definitely follow up with my psychiatrist about my confusion. Really really appreciate your advice. Thank you 🙂

[JJ03]

Hello Quirky, I think I am feeling similar to how you once did in my rejection of it. I guess for me, realising that the way you understand yourself and the way you see the world is not how everyone else sees it is kind of confronting. Thank you too for sharing your experience with me. Your assurance and advice really means a lot.