In need of help

[EzT]

Lately it feels like everything to getting too much, I’ve always been that type of person that’s always there for everyone around me but when I need help I push everyone around me away and completely shut down. I don’t want to be like that anymore but I don’t know how to fix it on my own. I just need someone to help me without feeling like a massive burden.

[Guest_342]

Dear EzT,

It can be hard to accept other people's help sometimes. And sometimes those closest to you might have trouble understanding what you are going through - not through lack on interest, but simply because they might not have experienced the same thing as you -I've found that, when we have struggles with our mental wellbeing, each person has their own unique experience. There are some things that our loved ones might never understand about us, try as they might.

Have you considered contacting the support lines available through this or other websites?

Also, I just wanted to let you know that I let my 'demons' bubble away for a number of years until I felt I was at breaking point. I had anxiety, not depression, but it was completely debilitating in its own way. It was so hard to gather the courage to talk to my GP but it's the best thing I've ever done. I would highly recommend finding a GP with whom you can have an ongoing relationship - it's so worth having a GP that you click well with and who has the ability to see you regularly and for an extended appointment if need be at times.

Please consider speaking to a trusted GP, instead of trying to battle this on your own. It's not a sign of weakness to seek help. My life was just rotten about 8 years ago - I had no head space for any enjoyment in life because my mind was consumed by intrusive and obsessive thoughts. I sat at work all day pretending to work but, really, my mind was somewhere else, runinating.

I never would have imagined feeling the way I do today, back then - I feel hopeful for the future, I am falling love, I have a beautiful home complete with budgies and a (6 year old) kitten, I am adding colourful flowers to my garden, I am no long fearful of work (I love it - most days!) and I look forward to weekends and socialising.

Life is good - it sounds like you just need to listen to what your mind and body are telling you and allow someone to assist you trough this time when you are not seeing the goodness in life. It's all there - you just need help to see it clearly 🙂

Happy to chat further, if you wish. Meantime - big hugs.

[geoff]

Hello EzT, a warm welcome to the forums.

When a person is always there to help other people means that they can help them in their own time, when it's convenient and are able to come and go when it pleases them, but it's different when you are struggling yourself, you don't want people trying to analyse your condition, because they are there with you all the time and you don't have the freedom you want to be in control.

Answering questions is different than giving out information because personal answers maybe asked and it's difficult to know what to say, so it's awkward for you, whereas helping another person you feel you are capable.

The only possible way we can begin to help ourselves is when we believe our counselling has been able to teach us how to stop any triggers or at least know how to cope with them and also able to avoid situations that are negative feelings and therefore change the direction we maybe heading towards.

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636. Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 up to the age of 25 years old, Headspace 1800 650 890, Reachout 1800 152 152,1880 RESPECT 1800 737 732, SANE 1800 187 263.

Contact your doctor but can I suggest you write down what is concerning you on some paper, this will make it easy when they ask 'how can I help you', also ask them about the mental health plan, this allows you 10 Medicare paid sessions, but believe you may also be entitled to other sessions due to this virus we're trying to eradicate.

Please reply if and when you have a chance.

Geoff.

[Guest_4643]

Hey EzT, welcome to the forums.

You're not a burden, lots of people push people away, I guess it's just people's way of coping. I do the same and most of the time, I don't even realise it. I guess with me it's just trust issues. It's a common thing to do so you're not alone.

You're a lovely person trying to be there for other people, but please remember to try and take care of yourself, because self care is important. I know that's hard and easier said than done because I struggle with it myself and try to be there for others aswell.

We all care, and we're all here for you.

[EzT]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really do appreciate the advice

[EzT]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, your post gives me hope

[Guest_4643]

Hey EzT, how are you doing?