I require advice relating to affordable services available in the northern suburbs of Melbourne.

[they]

So, earlier last year I attempted suicide. I resent my family for calling the police on me. Over the past few months, I have tried throwing myself into work, but it isn't helping. I have started self-medicating again, feeling the same loss as before, and am feeling truly alone. What family I have are reliant on me for emotional support, and I can't deal with both their situations as well as my own. As a result of this, I don't know who to turn to. There seems to be a paywall to any actual help available to me. And when I have found help in the past, I automatically jump into the 'everything is fine' mode where I lie to both myself and professionals about own wellbeing, just so I can slip under the radar again and avoid attention.

I don't know what to do, what services to turn to, or how to cope at the moment. Any advice about services or facilities would be welcome, as each day is becoming more and more of a challenge.

[AndyR]

Hello They

and well done on putting it out there by posting what you have. Your honesty in writing is a great step in recognising your self awareness that things need to change from where you are now.

I'm no expert but a couple of things come to mind. What medical support do you have? Do you have a good GP with understanding, especially following your attempt to end you life last year. Do you have a mental health plan and treatment with a counselor/psychologist/ psychiatrist?

You mention that you provide emotional support to family. Are you able to ask them for the same in return and be honest with them about why? Are there friends or a friend to whom you can speak about support and being someone who can check in on you?

Last of all, would a strategy of being open rather than jumping into 'everything is fine' mode work better for getting the support and safety net you need? I know from my own experience that when I finally opened up and said "I can't do this alone and need support" that things began to change. People around me were relieved I was being honest as it gave them a way to help, in practical tangible ways and not just the lets have a cuppa and talk way. Saying I'm fine when you're not is a barrier to recovery that perhaps does not work well. So is it possible to commit to dropping your guard and promise yourself you will be frank with whoever you deal with.
Talk to your GP and ask them by simply saying you need support and seeking their advice on who and how.
There are always these forums and the webchat and telephone services. It can be tough finding them but it is worth it.

[Croix]

Dear They~

I'd like to join AndyR in welcoming you here, a good move and a demonstration both of bravery in opening up, and sense in seeking the advice of others who have been there too.

Actually I think AndyR has already said most of what needed saying.

Going to your GP and saying "I have been thinking about killing myself" or even "I've taken to self-medicating to cope" is a pretty daunting thing. The temptation to minimize matters when you are there face-to-face can be pretty overpowering.

I found my way round this was to write everything down first in point form. Took a couple of days to get it complete and accurate. In an extended consultation I simply handed over a copy. This made matters a lot easier, not only was it too late to 'chicken out', but I just ended up answering questions rather than explaining from the start.

The only other thing I'd like to let you know at the moment is that I suggest calling the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) if you get overwhelmed, they are professional, realistic and sensible. The sound of a human voice when talking frankly can lift a big weight from your shoulders.

I hope you come back and we talk some more

Croix