I really don't know what to do any more

Berenice · ‎01-09-2016

Life is hard. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for 14 years now but I've hit my hardest time yet. Severe anxiety and panic attacks forced me to stop working in Dec last year. After this, I found out my partner who is supporting me, has a hefty amount of debt. We are struggling just to buy enough groceries every fortnight, let alone seeing my psychiatrist or anything else for that matter.

I can't access disability because my partner earns too much. I can't get better... They think he has inflammatory arthritis too. He hates his job but to leave he needs a redundancy to pay off his debt. I feel so trapped and so useless, like I'm barely living and I'm not sure I want to continue fighting. I love my partner dearly after being with someone emotionally abusive previously and who left me for another woman.

But the weight of everything is dragging me so far down and his debt makes me feel utterly trapped, with no end in sight. Like I can't live my life until this burden is lifted.

I'm so upset and I know he is too and it feels like life keeps kicking us down over and over again.

I just have no idea what to do.. I need help but it seems to get it you have to be off the deep end and I don't want it to get to that.

What am I going to do? 😞

white knight · ‎01-09-2016

Hi and welcome

The answer finanvially depends on a few things like if he has assets to sell like an expensive car to then buy a cheaper one etc

I used to serve debt notices to people and chat with them simply to persuade them to act. Most didn't realise there was alternatives. Such alternatives saved a lot of sadness. Once, I discussed bankruptcy with a couple. Three years as a bankrupt seemed a bad move...once they realised what it entailed they knew it was an appropriate way to solve their problems.

A financial advisor would be a positive move.

You seem to be in that income bracket that is least favourable. I urge you both to keep your attendance with your doctor, documenting your problems. If the day cones when your doctor declares your partner us unable to work fir more than 24 months he could qualify for DSP.

However this is difficult to get. Go to that financial advisor and set up a budget and other methods to benefit the situation.

You'll be surprised at how much happier you'll be.

Tony WK

Fairywings · ‎01-09-2016

hello and welcome I'm Venessa I def agree with tony here he has given you fabulous advice it will enable you guys to take control over you lives again and get hopefully get ahead. Nice to have met you Venessa xx

geoff · ‎02-09-2016

hello Berenice, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation and can I ask you do you know what the debt has amounted to or what it is for.
Tony has given you some great advice, especially servicing debt notices so he understands the strain this is causing you and your partner, and yes if his doctor does think that he will be unable to work more than 2 years he should qualify for DSP.
If you go and see a financial advisor then perhaps you could go and see Anglicare who are able to help people with many problems, they were great for me when I was rock bottom and I can't thank them enough.
They are able to connect to many agencies and will stop those peole who he owes money too, but please we hope you can get back to us. Geoff.

Berenice · ‎02-09-2016

Thanks to ChrisB for closing my other thread. I was posting this from my phone and it came up with an error so I thought it had not posted.

He has a car that he can sell but it's only worth around $1500 which will help but not enough... I think seeking help from a financial advisor would be a good idea. I have been budgeting and doing all of the bills myself as it just all makes a lot of sense to me but when I'm paying the debts each fortnight and slowly watching the money remaining decrease significantly, it's extremely stressful each time a pay comes through. I also feel guilty for my inability to work, even though without the debt, we would be having absolutely no trouble whatsoever.

We are making all of the payments that we need to make to keep the banks etc off of our backs but we have little else to show for it. We seem to just be going backwards and forwards, making payments then having something crop up that requires payment and up goes the debt again...

My only saving grace at present is that I will be getting a sizeable return this year because of my low income so my best option is to put this towards my credit card and then sell some other jewelry I have to get that card paid off. At least then it will give me the semblance of ME being debt free which should help me a lot mentally to deal with our situation.

As I have moved recently back to the side of Brisbane that I know, I am considering starting fresh with a new GP. I am more than happy to pay to see a GP as in comparison they are relatively cheap plus there is a refund from Medicare. I have been looking into other mental health care options that do not require a lot of money...does anyone know about hospital admissions for mental illness through the QLD government? My future mum-in-law worked in public mental health as front desk for many years and she does not want me to go down that path but...I really do not have many more options and not receiving help is sending me into a pretty up and down spiral. Couple that with my partner's own medical problems and we are basically playing a game of "which of our problems needs seeing to the most" and I really do not want that for either of us...

So if I could go public and not have to pay...that would help us significantly and lift that guilt I carry so that he can receive the help that he needs also.

Thank you Tony, Venessa and Geoff, I really, really appreciate your comforting and helpful responses xx

Fairywings · ‎02-09-2016

Anytime lovely i hope things sort themselves in the not too distant future for u guys bigs hugs and take care of yourselves venessa

romantic_thi3f · ‎06-09-2016

Hi Berenice,

Thanks for posting. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I know that it can be incredibly difficult when government lacks resources and funding to help. I'm actually in a very similar situation.

I will however try to suggest a couple of things that might help -

1) For the DSP, are you sure that you and your partner are not eligible? It might be worth checking the income and assets test. For this test they will need to account for all your income, assets and debt. You can check this online without going through the hassle of applying.

There is also the Sickness Allowance which is for people 22 years or over but under age pension age and have a job to return too but a medical certificate. The income and assets test for this is different.

2) Be very wary about financial counsellors as there are many who will say they can help with budgeting and debts but end up costing you. Most financial counsellors are free. Try here and enter your postcode - https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managing-your-money/managing-debts/financial-counselling/find-a-financial-counsellor

3) A psychiatrist you will often have to pay privately but a psychologist you can get with a rebate. Ask your Doctor about the Mental Health Care Plan. This should help subsidise a few visits.

4) Your Doctor may also be aware of services in the area that are Government funded who can help. Mind, MiFSA and UnitingCare are a few that come to mind.