I NEED HOPE

[Yeah-Nah]

So, on the roller coaster again. Since entering adulthood many moons ago it seems I can't shake off the soul sapping reality that I CONSTANTLY suffer depression, such that it renders me incapable of anything beyond mere existence. I try to pick myself up over and over but as it is I'm here again. I'm tired. I do NOT want this to be a dictating factor of my existence but it seems to always leach in 😞

[Sophie_M]

Hey there, 

We can hear you've been through some really difficult times, and it can be really exhausting when it feels like you're constantly going through it. We hope that you can be kind to yourself while you're feeling this way, as it sounds like you've been through a lot and had a lot of resilience in picking yourself up. Can you think of anything that has helped you in the past, that could be useful to you today? 

We think that it's really important that you have people you can talk to about this. Do you have anyone supporting you with your mental health? You can always give the Beyond Blue helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are also here for you 24/7, at any time of the day or night. All of these options are available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Lifeline 
• The Suicide Call Back Service 

It must be horrible feeling like it's such a big part of your existence, we hope you can be kind to yourself, and see that you're worth a lot more than moments like this would have you believe.  

We're really glad you could share this here. It can be a really hard thing to do, but you never know who will see this post and feel less alone in their own experience. Do feel free to share more with us here on how you're feeling and what might help, if you feel up to it.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[Isabella_]

Hey,

Welcome to the forums. Good on you for recognising your want and need to deal with your depression, and especially for sharing that with us - these are the first steps and you should be proud of taking them.

Getting better is never an easy process.. reading through posts on here you will find many amazing success stories that always have adversity along the way. I've been stuck in a cycle of picking myself up and falling down what feels like an even deeper hole, but being brutally honest with myself, stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out for help was more than worthwhile. Therapy helped me to rewire things and make everything manageable again.

I know the idea of bringing up your mental health with your GP is daunting, but is it something that you've considered doing? What are your thoughts/feelings around taking the leap to seek out therapy?

Please remember that you don't deserve any pressure to continue living your life without the help you need. I think sayings like "you can't expect an olympian to win a gold medal after breaking their leg on the field" helped me put my mental health in perspective.. it's just as important as physical health, and they're both tied together. No one is expected to be able to live their lives as normal while struggling with depression, it can be extremely debilitating and exhausting to deal with alone. Everyone has a place here to be heard and listened to, and I hope you can find some peace here when you need it.

I strongly suggest using the resources that Sophie has mentioned whenever you're in a place you feel you need them.

I would love to hear from you. Take care of yourself.

[Petal22]

Hi Yeah-Nah,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way…..

I understand it must be difficult for you……, please know there is always HOPE! Never stop believing in HOPE!

I went through a mental health condition for some time, it was severe anxiety OCD…….. it was debilitating……. I felt like I was living in an internal hell and wouldn’t have wished my condition on anyone! I seeked professional help from my gp through to a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist this then led me to a clinic that specialised in OCD……. I did an 8 week therapy there…… this is we’re I learned to master my OCD….. it took time and perseverance to practice the skills I was taught but I’ve now been free of the condition for 4 years going strong!

I know our conditions are different but if I can recover there is HOPE that you can too……

Have you seeked any professional help for your condition?

im here to chat to you 😊

[Yeah-Nah]

Thanks. But I've been riding this carnival for decades. I don't want to end up like my godmother who at 80+ suffers more than ever from depression, I didn't even know she did until a few years ago. I have reached out and tried ENDLESS resources in people and "methods" but at the end of the day I'm simply EXHAUSTED, it's so friggin incredibly hard to lift my head and actually WANT to keep going.

[Yeah-Nah]

Hi, thanks for replying (as usual it seems my calls for help are feeble).

I have used those phone services & other many times, I'm now too exhausted to even voice my issues. The problems keep compounding - just life crap but when it's all coming at the pace of a tsunami I simply haven't the energy to deal with even one small wave. I'm so depressed I can't even cry. I can't keep "hiding" my inability to cope from the family, I am actually fully snapping at everyone. I had hoped reaching out in this forum (only because I trust this service) that I could maybe find someone who cared enough to keep by my side.

[Yeah-Nah]

Hi Petal22, are you genuinely available to chat?
I wish to all energies in the universe that I could "get over" my debilitating depression - I'd be lucky to have 8wks in which it didn't show up in some way, let alone actually feel it wasn't controlling my life. I've explored all manner of services and help, at the end of the day, I just want to curl up in a ball, close my eyes and stop breathing.

I don't derive pleasure from anything any more. Eating and all the basics of self care are honestly an absolute chore. The demands of single parenting (without ANY family to help) has stripped me completely, to the point I can't actually think any more.

[Petal22]

Hi Yeah-Nah,

Yes I’m genuinely available to chat to you 😊 I had days we’re I was unable to function it was just horrible…….. please don’t loose HOPE if I can recover from a mental health condition there is HOPE that you can too………

I use to write myself a list every night before I went to sleep of the things I wanted to do the next day….

eg washing, vacuum, go out for a coffee , go out for a walk

As I did these things I’d cross them off the list…. It made me feel pretty good for accomplishing these things at the end of the day…… it would build my momentum..

I would also read a lot of positive affirmations every day…. I still do this it really helped me to retrain my brain from negative to positive…….. trust me it works……

try to include these things in your day…..

if I had a really bad day I’d tell myself tomorrow will be better….. it usually was….

the struggle your in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow .

DON’T GIVE UP 😊💪

I’m here to chat

[Summerinvincible]

Hi Yeah-Nah

my situation may not be exactly the same as yours, but I’m also a single parent with zero support. You absolutely need and deserve a break and support, and I’m sorry you haven’t received this.

I’ve been there before and when you feel like you’re at rock bottom, it’s so hard to think of the smallest thing you can do to look after yourself.

it sucks. Happy to listen further if it helps.

[Petal22]

You have been through hell, darling . BUT remember this: YOU are still standing. Your heart is still beating. Your lungs are still breathing. Yes it is you, not hell, that has the last word. And that is why the skies call you warrior…….

Rise up my friend let’s take it a day at a time, I’m here to help you ……… no matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets you have to tell yourself “ I’m going to make it”……. 💪❤️