I'm terrified of my ex best friend part 2

[random__]

Hello to whoever is reading this.. WARNING SENSITIVE TOPICS

I have already had a discussion about this topic which is still up on my profile and it includes some sensitive topics but I am making a part 2 on this cause after years it's still going..

BACKSTORY: I had a best friend who had made some horrid accusations about me "SA-ing" her in 2021 which is false as I have many screenshots and convos of her admitting to me is was a false accusation. she took any guy that I wanted to get to know, she made fat comments to me on a daily, she made posted photos online that looked identical to mine, she use to stalk my house before school and when she accused me of SA-ing her I moved state which she followed me her.

This has been going on for years and as of recent she has been doing some things that are quite uncomfortable e.x.

changing her name on her socials to the same as mine just with 1 letter difference.

dying her hair the same color as mine every time I change it.

stalking all my socials with other accounts.

trying to destroy my friends by telling people about the (SA).. 

and when she tells people about it she smiles and laughs about it almost like she's proud of it.. and as someone who has been R-word before.. it makes me sick to my stomach watching her tell every Tom, Dick and Harry about it with a smile.. even posting tiktoks of her posing 'sexually' whilst spreading what happened..

It's taken a few years but I've gotten better with physical touch now but I'm still a bit scared of touching girls e.x. (hugging, touching arm, sitting next to someone and our legs touch)

I've been told to go to the police but because it was so long ago.. "nothing can be done"

and I can't go to the police about this.. they'd turn me away as it was considered "just girl drama"

it still keeps me up at night and sometimes feel like I shouldn't be existing because that's the label I'll always have attached to me, no matter how much proof I have against me showing I'm innocent..

I want to see it a different way and not see it as I'm stuck in one place scared all the time, I've been trying different methods to help ignore, help the situation and how I feel but it's always sitting there in the back of my mind..

Sometimes I feel like I hate this world and humanity and there is no point cause people are so mean and they don't care how it effects others. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey random__

What you have been through sounds incredibly distressing, and we're glad you could open up about it here. We hope you can find some comfort and understanding on the forums. This is a judgment-free space, so please feel free to share, knowing that you'll be met with understanding. We're sorry to hear how things have been, and we want you to know that we're here for you.  

It is understandable that after what you went through you are feeling a sense of anger towards the world. It is a very normal response to something that we feel was unfair and deeply distressing.

We hope that being in this community can show, even a little bit, that there are people out here that truly care for you and empathise with what you have been through.

The Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you if you’d like to talk this through on 1300 22 4636, or via online chat. It is so important that you look after yourself during these times and they can help you, or just be there if you want to talk. 

Thanks again for sharing here. We really appreciate your openness in sharing and hope that it can bring some comfort.

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Earth Girl]

Hi random_,

I remember seeing your post and I really wanted to help, but had no idea how to at the time, but I recently saw on T.V and on a YouTube ad, that they have people you can contact if you feel threatened or are getting bullied really badly. Unfortunately I cannot remember the name of these websites/hotlines, but I will let you know if I find out. If I see one of the ads again, I think I'll be able to remember. Based on the ads I saw, it sounds like they take this sort of thing very seriously and will do something about it.

The situation you are in right now is indeed distressing! I'm so sorry your ex friend is bullying you so badly. I have ex friends who are also bullying me really badly (not to this extent I don't think - they are doing things behind my back and I'm not sure what exactly, but some of them are positing ticktocks or something about me and wanting to get revenge on me just because I stopped being friends with them).

Do you mind me asking why she might be doing this? She sounds like a massive attention seeker or something and I don't know why she chose you to be her victim. Did you get into a fight? Ex friends can go really insane if they get upset with you even if you haven't actually done anything to them.

I hope you are able to get really good support from these websites/hotlines and I hope they will be able to put an end to all of this because this girl is being REALLY mean!

[SucculentQueen]

This behaviour towards you seems to go beyond the realm of bullying and almost sounds pathological. It is false and does not represent you in any truthful way. Many people viewing her cruel behaviour would know this even if they aren't voicing it to you. You did so well to physically get yourself away from this person who very clearly has her own trauma that she is not dealing with. Some people take out their own traumas on good natured people like yourself and it is often motivated by unresolved trauma within themselves. It is not about there being anything wrong with you, in fact it is probably the direct opposite. I will repeat that again, it is not about there being anything wrong with you, in fact it is probably the direct opposite. In other words there is a lot that is RIGHT with you. Some people who are in great emotional pain get temporary joy from emotionally extinguishing and bringing down better people to normalise how awful they feel. You are undoubtedly the better person and her behaviour towards you proves that. 

Social media can be incredibly anti-social in its content and requires us as individual users to brainstorm how best to modify the way we view and participate with it. I hope you can come up with some solutions on how to exclude her from bullying you emotionally via the internet. 

Other peoples extreme behaviours are never about you be it assault, bullying or otherwise. I will repeat again that these behaviours are not about you. I am right next to you sending you all of my support. Take care.

[Earth Girl]

I just saw one of the ads again on T.V. It's called eSafety.