computer gambling game
I need some assistance with something that is bothering me. My dad sits up most nights after dinner and ignores the family and plays a computer gambling casino game for hours. This happens most nights, recently he has been very angry again and I think he is depressed with his life situation he told me today he did not want to see other members of our family because he is "sick of hearing about their holidays and good things they are doing". I feel like he avoiding the family or maybe he is just winding down each night but I feel its not healthy.. what should I do hes 74, it may seem fun and harmless but i feel it could be a behavioral addiction.
Welcome back. I know you have been concerned about your dad for some time now and have said he may be suffering from depression brought on by losing the house and his own dad.
It is very sad that he cannot enjoy being with his own family, and finds the fact they have reasonable lives tends to rub it in that his is not what he would have liked.
Between loss, disappointment, grief and a heavy work schedule he has a fair amount of pressure on him, and while I'm no doctor I would not be surprised if his gambling of an evening is an effort to distract and occupy himself in a world where he just concentrates on the game to exclude everything else.
May I ask if you have discussed this wiht him directly? Also perhaps wiht you mum?
There is information about problem gambling here:
Which has a couple of places to seek advice.
You may be right it stems from depression however really speaking the only person that can assist is realy a medical professional.
You did say he'd been prepared to go to church counseling a couple of times - do you think he might be persuaded to see his GP and explain how he feels?
Please let me know what you think
It's great to see you care about your dad and the relationship with the family, and he's being supported by you; your concern is valid. It is worrying to see someone you love has been suffering from depression and may be drawn into the virtual game world to avoid things they don't wanna deal with. I personally know someone retired who would spend hours and hours on the computer, despite that he already had health issues, it's sad that his kids and families don't care that much.
As Croix suggested, you may wanna communicate with him since it might be addictive. In my personal opinion, it is acceptable to have some fun times after meals to make the night more relaxed, as he's supported and concerned by his family members. He won't be lost.
But if things are getting worse, that gaming actually has made him more irritable, caused depressive symptoms, then you need serious talks with him and try to encourage him to see professionals.
It’s tough when we see our fam struggling with something and not being able to open up. It's crucial to stay P&U and not judge. It could be he’s just winding down after a long day, or it could be something else. Maybe have a chat with him about his feels and how he’s been feeling generally? Could be he’s feeling lonely or O/W and needs to talk about it. Maybe suggest a game night where the fam can all come together and play a game?
"One thing you could try is talking to your dad about how you're feeling. It might be helpful to approach the conversation from a place of concern rather than criticism, and let him know that you're worried about him."
You could also suggest doing other things together as a family in the evenings, like playing board games or watching movies. As for the computer gambling casino game, I can see how that would be a concern. There are definitely games that pay money out there, and it's easy to get sucked into playing them for hours on end. It's possible that your dad is just trying to unwind after dinner, but it's also possible that he's developed a behavioral addiction.