I'm lost and struggling

[Matty_A]

I lost my mother back in 2016 also my uncle and a good friend in the same year and no joke my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with a former friend the day of my mother's funeral I've tried really hard since then I really have but now I just feel so lost my father's a full time alcoholic so he's no help and to be honest I want nothing to do with him I basically have no family and no friends I couldn't even play league this year it's the only thing that makes me happy and I missed out on work as well because I broke my ankle and knee and yeah I've still got lots of rehab ahead of me but I now find that I'm questioning myself like why am I doing this? What's the point? ive been thinking about suicide but I can't I feel like such a bad person for thinking it but I miss my mum so much she was always there to help me my life is just in such a bad place at the moment and I've never felt so broken I just wish I knew what to do.

I would like to thank anyone who took time out to read this and appreciate any advice from anyone.

[White_Rose]

Dear Matty A

A warm welcome to the forum and thank you for telling us your story. When parents die we feel we have lost someone very precious. My mom died nearly 20 years ago and I still miss her. My sister died 15 years ago from cancer and my dad died many years ago also from cancer. It does feel as though we have lost all our support in life.

Suicide can seem like the answer to all our pain. It's such an attractive thought. Please do not feel ashamed of having these thoughts. It's quite a normal reaction to your loss particularly of your mom. I can only imagine how devastating it must have been to find out about your girlfriend. Such an enormous breach of trust.

I feel you need someone close by to talk to about your sadness and confusion. Have you seen your GP lately? It's a good idea to have a talk about your feelings. Do not be scared your GP will judge you adversely. It's their job to help not make judgements.

It may help you to talk to a psychologist about your huge loss and your GP can help there. You can go on a mental health plan which entitles you to up to ten sessions with a psychologist. The fees are rebateable by Medicare in the same way other doctor's fees can be claimed. You will need to pay the gap fee unless your GP can find a psychologist who bulk bills. Unfortunately you can only have ten of these sessions in the year. A bit ludicrous I feel but I suspect it's all about money.

What you are experiencing is so very normal. In fact I would be worried if you had no sad feelings so please let yourself mourn. I know people think that you get over these losses in a relatively short time but that's not true. We never forget our moms. I certainly have not done so and I believe my children will miss me when I die though there are many years of living before then.

What is your work situation at the moment? I gather you have a job, is this correct? Unfortunately you are on sick leave because of your broken ankle and knee. I broke my knee many years ago and needed physio etc. I was still using one crutch when I returned to work. It was much harder than I thought it would be.

Do not beat yourself up about your broken bones. You can return to work when you are fit enough. I am sorry your dad is unable to help you. Did he start drinking after your mom passed away?

I hope I have been helpful. Please continue to write in here. We can offer you support this way.

Mary

[44Max44]

I can't even imagine what you must be going through, I love my Mum more than anything and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her, she's like my anchor to this world that keeps me from snapping.

All I can say is stay strong, buddy. I and many others are or have been in your position and we're all just a PM away if you wanted to chat.

[Guest_933]

Dear Marty A,

‘I am so sorry you feel so sad, people on this forum really do care about each other.

You are so brave and smart to have posted about how you are feeling, if you are feeling so distressed please call lifeline on 13 11 14 to talk to someone in person 24hrs a day. They can hep you find the support you need at this very difficult time in your life. You have had so much grief and pain, it is perfectly understandable that you are feeling so depressed.

You were very lucky to have such a wonderful Mother, she would want you to be okay and happy. She is watching over you and wishing she was with you. I am a Mother of four boys so I am speaking from the heart.

Keep posting if you feel sad, try to stop thinking such dark thoughts, people on this forum want you to feel better and are thinking of you.

Belle