I dont understand my situation and appreciate any help

[schwangberry]

Hi All,

This is the first time i've done somethingl ike this, i believe i am depressed and possibly severely for a few years.

It's gotten pretty bad the last few months and started after i lost my two grandparents with whom i was pretty close with and lived with them for a year last year, anyways i took a few days off work just cause i was a bit upset, and those few days turned into what is now nearly three months, where i've only gone back 4-5 days in total.

I just stay in my room and dont leave the house, i sleep alot nearly 10-12 hours a day and get nervous at the thought of going out and seeing people, im afraid to tell people how im feeling because i feel like they wont understand or just tell me im dumb and to get over it, i feel like a burden, my parents dont know any of this, they dont know im not going to work, my dad would just laugh at me, i told my mum today that i'm going to a GP tonight to speak about a mental health care plan as someone suggested Anti Depressants might be a good place to start.

My boss at work called me last week to chat and he was pretty supportive which suprised me, told me to come in the next day and we can chat and said to not feel pressured to stay the whole day at work, i ended up making an excuse as i always do the next morning and ignored his calls the following day (This was just last week)

I received an email from HR today about a formal absent meeting which will cover all my days i've had off and not being in contact with any of them, i think communication on my end is a big issue as i just feel like they dont believe me and think im lying.

I'm constantly down, i feel lonely and im pretty overweight, i comfort eat alot and have been doing that for years. I think the weight plays a big part in how im feeling, but usually it doesnt bother me as people aren't too much of an asshole these days.

Basically the thought of going to work scares me, i feel like everyone will talk about me, look at me and just laugh. Im behind in rent/debts and have absolutely no money, my housemate stresses me out to no end and i dont feel comfortable, i feel cold most of the time and my body shakes regularly, i apologise if this thread is all over the place i dont really know how to explain everything in order..

I was just wondering if anyone is experiencing the same kind of thing and knows a way around it?

I feel like im going to lose my job and get kicked out, i cant bring myself to return. I feel like the world hates me

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Welcome to beyond blue.

I am just another user on the forums here so cannot provide any advice or such like, but I would ask you to have a look at the K10 test on the website here. It will give you a recommendation once completed and then you take the necessary action? For myself I would go to my GP and then get referred to a psychologist.

Once I had that diagnosis of sorts I felt it gave me permission to speak to others about it - to a small select group. things did get worse and others noticed. What I found at the end of this was that people who I know had been on similar journeys. Of course coming here was also helpful.

I can understand you being hesitant to talk to anyone. I thought I was weak, but some who didn't really know me would say how brave you are...

While you might feel you cannot talk to anyone, you are talking to me. Despite what I said at the beginning of my post, I will give you one recommendation - an app called virtual hope box. That, and the threads here on grounding and mindfulness.

Peace to you,
Tim

[Cleo1]

Hi Schwangberry,

Firstly, I want to say well done to you for recognising that you're not feeling great and for taking the first step toward fixing it (by booking the appointment with your GP). This can be a really hard thing to do on your own so good on you - you've already overcome the first hurdle.

I'm really sorry about the loss of your grandparents. It sounds like their passing has really affected you and I'm sorry you've been going through it alone.

I'm glad your boss is supportive. I know it can be hard to talk on the phone when you're feeling down but I think its important to keep communicating with him so you don't lose your job. Is it possible to contact him via email or text instead? (when you have to)

Speak to your GP about your upcoming absence meeting with HR. Your GP may be able to give you some documentation explaining that you have been unwell, which you can use to justify your absences. I really hope you can start going back to work, even for just a few days a week, to get you out of the house and give you something to do (lying around in bed all day is the worst thing for your mental health, although it is such an easy trap to fall into when you're feeling down). It's in your employer's best interest to make accommodations to allow you to stay on than have to go through the process of hiring and training a new employee to replace you.

I hope this post has been helpful and wish you all the best.

Sending kind thoughts,

Cleo1

[peacock]

Hi. First of all I wanted to tell you how brave you are for coming on here and telling your story. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot in your life. As someone who has struggled with depression in the past I can tell you are not alone or abnormal. If I’ve learned anything about recovery from depression it is that you cannot and should not try to go through it alone. There is help out there and seeing your GP is a great start. Beyond Blue is amazing as they have live chat as well which I find helpful. Can I suggest you start some healthy habits such as going for a walk every morning, even just 30 minutes. It lifts your mood and gives some structure to your day. It would be helpful to let your employer know what’s going on as they are much more understanding about depression these days and may be able to offer some help. You’ve already taken a big step by coming on here so keep going! There is hope for recovery from depression and there are people out there who can offer help and support. I really hope things improve for you and I hope you keep in touch

[schwangberry]

Hi all, sorry i couldnt post a general reply, this weeks been rough. Today i did see the GP as promised and we spoke about mental health and other issues, i've been prescriped a low dosage of anti depressants and will start them tonight.

I am seeing her again next week and the week after to start a mental health care plan which will set up councilling/psychotherapy (im not sure what that is but she mentioned it, so i'll have a look a bit later)

I have gotten my doctor to write a note explaining im suffering from anxiety/stress/depression and hopefully this will ease my employer a bit and talk about returning to work 3 days a week starting this week fingers crossed.

Thanks all for your kind words it makes me hopeful again