I don't think I'm after advice, but will accept any

[AussieJovi]

I don't think I'm after advice; but will accept any. I just have nowhere to vent without family/friends interfering. I have suffered from depression from as long as I can remember. I have had 3 bad cases of PND; lost my first husband to Melanoma 20yrs ago; left my 2nd husband {& 2 young boys} 5 yrs ago.  My ex & kids are now about to move back to our home town {4 hrs away} due to financial pressures. I love my boys dearly & the thought of them leaving is killing me; BUT; I also know that in reality I am NOT capable of looking after them on my own. ATM; their father is an on call casual & I get called to come stay with boys at a drop of the hat....and this sends me into a downward spiral...they don't behave for me {they are 10 & 15}; they are rude & call me names & I get in trouble if I discipline them....damned if I do & damned if I don't.  I have a new man in my life {for 8mths}...all started out well; but he doesn't believe in depression & is one of those who say "suck it up & get over it"; which; of course; is making me worse. When my ex & kids leave he will be all I have as all my friends have busy lives with kids & husbands of their own.   I have always said that I am too silly to do anything silly to myself; but there are more & more days that I wish I wouldn't wake up or hope something happens to me {I don't want to leave my kids with the guilt of me committing suicide}.  I AM SORRY FOR RANTING; JUST NEEDED TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE.

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[dougall]

Hi best place to put it is right out there.  Sounds like you have gone from one bad relationship into another.  People who do not understand what you are going through and do not make the effort to even find out how to help you should not be in your life because they will drag you to the bottom and blame you for everything wrong in the relationship.  Boys are a handful especially teenage years.  Rudeness should not be accepted from anyone.  If they are your friends then they will make time for you so if you don't ask and only assume you will never know if they do have time.  Sometimes we want people to notice our pain and they don't because they are too busy, I think it is because they do not know how to respond.

[geoff]

dear AussieJovi,I'm pleased that you have found somewhere to vent, that's what the site is for.

There are a few issues I would like to talk about,  firstly, is your ex moving back to your home town only because he can take advantage of you to baby sit, not that their babies at their age, sorry but I can see problems arising out this, secondly when we meet someone new (8 months ago) we always get infatuated by their looks, maybe charm, manners and perhaps sex appeal, we have no idea of what they are actually like in real life, and to be knocked back with him not believing in depression will only make your journey a difficult one.

Thirdly in regard to your sons being at the age of 10 and 15 are certainly difficult adolescent years, but it makes it much harder as they haven't been living with you, and their personalities are a reflection of what your ex's is.

So I'm thinking aloud here just as you have, but I can see that there are problems from every direction, sorry to say this, but please get back to me. L Geoff. x

[dougall]

Hi, how are doing?

[AussieJovi]

Hi Geoff;  currently we all still live on the Central Coast of NSW{we moved here 8yrs ago}....he & the kids are moving back to our hometown in NW-NSW. ATM I see the kids a few times a week.

This is the first serious relationship I have been in since I left my husband 5 yrs ago. Believe me; there was no physical or sexual attraction to begin with; he was so not my type; but I let my guard down & things were great. I am going to "teach" him about depression & see where we end up.

[AussieJovi]

Hi Dougall;

I'm just taking each day as it comes. It's been a rough week

[dougall]

Hi how are you doing

[AussieJovi]

Hi ...I'm just rolling along...some days are ok; others not so