Dear Kosmicchaos~
I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here. It sounds as if you have reached a stage where you are not able to deal with everything in the way you would like.
I was like that when depression and anxiety took over my life, I'd not be ably to carry out my normal tasks, I found a great deal of contempt and dislike for myself, and I also had a building heap of anger -some directed at others for not understanding me, and some directed at myself.
Frankly I kept on getting worse, there was no way I could make myself better on my own, and even the love and concern of my partner ended up as a target for indifference or resentment - very hard on her.
May I ask if you have any medical support at the moment? If you have then perhaps it might be time to go in and explain what is happening to you, your regime doe not appear to be working properly.
Of course if you do not have medical help I'd suggest now is an excellent time to start, perhaps a long consultation with your GP as a start. Such help was the only way I've reached my current pretty good state.
In case you have not thought of it I think it would be worth while contacting the uni Counseling / Disability service. They can be very good making recommendations and also assisting in extensions and even deferrals if one has a medical condition.
You are not alone, we are her and understand. The people in your life may not have reacted in a particularly sympathetic or understanding way. Quite often this is simple inexperience, an inability to understand something outside one's own experience. That plus a fear of doing harm.
I'm not saying that is always the case but it can be a consideration.
I do hope you come back here to us and talk some more
Croix
So in a way I can understand that two things you liked you broke, your hair and your console. Punishment, frustration, urge to lash out (wiht unfortunately you as the target)
