I don't know how to help myself anymore.....

[chelseajones]

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression 4 years ago. Recently I had a serious loss of a very close family member and a break up of a long term relationship which has pushed me over the edge. I started self harming. After this I was sent to the inpatient facility at melbourne clinic the 'general' ward but was told that I really shouldn't be there so came out after 4 days.

I see a psychologist every 2 weeks, I am on all sorts of medications and health products, I exercise and eat fairly sensible. (Yes, I sometimes overdo it on the alcohol but it makes me feel more me with all the medication.) I have tried meditation and still can't seem to calm myself down when I am depressed or having a panic attack

My parents keep on saying they want to see me try to get better - what more can I do, other options?

[james1]

Hi Chelsea,

I'm sorry about your situation. The recent events have just made an already difficult situation just that much harder.

Have you ever tried giving BeyondBlue or any of the other helplines a call, especially when you feel like self-harming?

I really would encourage you not to drink alcohol. Even though it makes you feel better at the time, it's not good in the medium and long run and, unfortunately, you're the only one who can stop. If you're living with anyone at the moment, perhaps you can ask them to make sure you don't drink alcohol.

Does your psychologist run through relaxation exercises?

Mine asks me to write down how I feel using a logbook and I find it helps. It's really important to also write down something positive and how you think you should react. I find this helpful because it gets my thoughts out of my brain and also gives me something to hand to my psychologist so she can see what's happened.

Other than that, it sounds like you're trying very hard and I really admire you for that, because it sounds like you just have so much happening that it's overwhelming. Please do keep replying here if you feel comfortable - we really want to support you through this and hope you can start to feel a little less bad.

There is a light at the end of the very dark tunnel and, even though there are bumps along the way, we're here to help each other out.

Sending you some hugs!

James

[Sinking92]

Hello,

I just want to say I know how awful it can feel, when you are doing what you can to help yourself and are trying your best to get better, and others don't appreciate that, and think you're not trying, I know it makes me feel worse.

But I also understand with my parents at least, that it's because they care about me, and because they feel helpless, because they hate to see me depressed but there's nothing they can do and it get's frustrating for them. Yet I can still feel pressured to be doing more than I can, or feel bad that my best isn't good enough, which is really not helpful.

If you are seeing a psychologist, taking medication, exercising and eating well, posting here, then you are trying, especially considering your recent life events on top of your existing depression/anxiety, I know that can make things seem impossible. I think you should be proud for what you are doing.

Writing things down can help me too in those moments of distress when I really can't calm myself down enough to do psychology exercises.

Another thing that helped with my parents, was for me to be more open with them about what I was doing to help myself and how I felt.