How to stop feeling like my life is over?

[JustanNPC]

Hi everybody. 

I've had depression for many years, and is currently at its worst. There's a underlying feeling of dread and despair, and it won't let up. When I turned 18 and the "training wheels" of high school came off, I became a recluse and my emotional state has been low ever since. I feel like I missed my chance to live a fulfilling life by hiding from opportunities because it was too hard to face the world. I'm envious of those around me that took chances and found confidence through experience, and for a time I put them down (in my thoughts) to make myself feel better. I constantly compare what people have accomplished at what age to my own life and feel like a failure. I lacked the courage to ever try dating seriously and as a result do not have a partner. I see a psychologist, I take antidepressants, I have supportive parents. All I can feel despite this is a sense of loneliness and self loathing. 

Sorry to just dump all that info but I wanted to give some context for the question. If anybody has some advice I'd appreciate it. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Thanks for posting, it is a common situation and I do strongly believe I have the answer as up to 26yo I was the same. Overall before that age I was unaware that I had a negative attitude which like many, was born from a negative household and a parent that suppressed my emotions and created guilt and other influences. Then it all disappeared in 30 minutes. After that half hour of shock I reversed it all and from then on had a "half full " attitude towards life. That experience is in the first post here-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

A negative approach to life be it education, employment, human contact or other is not your fault (if indeed that is the core problem) and it takes some sort of realisation for us to change direction. The easy way is not to, to remain feeling hopeless but eventually that becomes draining as we see our friends and family make something of themselves. But the key might well be a change is approach but there is a few more hidden keys in there also its just that a change to positivity is the crucial part of the formula because once you are positive then that positivity changes everything in your life- EVERYTHING.  

Eg  You will immediately recognise the mentality of a friends mind if they begin to talk negatively so you'll guide them towards positivity and better still not allow such negativity to influence your own thinking. You might even feel sorry for them. 

Such a "reborn" way of thinking however has not much influence on your mental illness issues. Depression will still be there but I did find that when my depressive cycle came along there was a time when such cycle was leaving and that is the period that a positive mind could be capitalised on. The first post here explains it.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

There is other threads that could help but I dont want to overload you. The message is that somehow we depressants have to develop a determined persona to achieve things others find more natural in pursuing. Introducing motivation is a key to that and can come in forms like motivational lectures, reading books on positivity and self assessment during times of negative thoughts arriving.

I hope that helped, repost anytime.

TonyWK

[JustanNPC]

Thanks, I'll try to find more motivation.