how to deal with parents that dont get it...

[floydoss]

so i quit my job last year and am now on disability payments for my autism/depression and anxiety, my parents have overall been pretty supportive but my dad can be a hard ass and sometimes makes comments that i dont think he means but even so it still really annoys me. we were talking this morning and he says "since you have decided to not work". like you know i defiantly chose to have a mental break down and be suicidal (not anymore but was while working), even with the full pension im still a good 800 or so less then i used to make a fortnight and its hard i wish i could earn money and have my financial security back but i mentally cant deal with it. i know he probably dosent mean it but it just really bothered me. does anyone have advice for dealing with parents that just dont get it?

[james1]

Hey floydoss,

Ah that's really tough and I'm sorry you have to try and deal with that, while also managing your own mental health. It is really tough to deal with others who don't understand, especially when it's your own parents.

In my own experience, I have not had a great deal of success in changing my parents' minds so perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice, haha. But I've gone the other way and tried to come to terms with their perspective, and thus by understanding their perspective, I can feel a bit less frustrated. And if I'm less frustrated, I can more easily move past their judgement and just deal with the issue myself.

It is still really annoying that I can't rely on their support, but I think it's also helped me generally be able to brush off unhelpful comments and stay focussed on knowing what I need to do for myself.

James

[mocha delight]

Hi floydoss I’m sorry to hear about what your going through I’m on the disability pension as I have a learning disability & just on the autistic spectrum to and I’m still working out how to deal with parents who don’t get it.

[Guest_1643]

hey flordoss -

first step is accepting that they don't get it and maybe even... accepting that won't change.
I think it's rare that ppl who don't understand mental health change - i'm sure it happens sometimes but it would be good for ur own Mental Health to see them as they are - having some misconceptions about mental health.
That wasn't so nice what he said and u don't need to hear things like that while you recover. Steel yourself from negativity and try to find as many safe, caring, supportive environments for urself as possible. Many of us have mental health struggles and are doing the very best we can. In fact u shold be commended for tackling a very hard time.
P.s. my dad says stuff like this all the time

He told me that if I go to a mental health hospital I'll never get a job, because everyone will think i'm... etc etc

I'm here, I have a job and the MH hospital saved my life. Listen to ur own gut.

[Sweesoft]

Hi! Parents can be hard at times. I know it's hard but it's better to just shrug it off. Don't let it bother you as he definitely loves you and forgets your situation.