How to cope after losing your job
Hi ,I was hoping someone on here might be able to help or offer some advice if you've been in a similar situation. I am 29 with depression & anxiety. I recently moved to Australia. I go through periods where it does not affect me and then I have turns and it consumes me. When I first moved over, I was incredibly excited to start our new life here and I quickly found a job at a company I thought would be a good fit for me. However, after the first 3 months, my manager confronted me with 'What is happening, you've lost your sparkle' this really took me aback as I had been working really hard, doing a lot of over time and trying hard to make an effort with the broader team. I did not understand where she was coming from and was deeply ashamed of myself.
Anyways, from there on, work became progressively work. My manager intimidated me and I became so anxious I really struggled to perform. She micromanaged me, stood over my shoulder and would fire tens of emails over to me and snipping at me if I had completed the tasks yet. I was finding her incredibly difficult to work with and the atmosphere that she spread over the team was toxic. She would constantly call colleagues I worked closely with idiots, & one 'stupid... who can't do anything right.' I was then terrified at what she was calling me behind my back.
5 months in, I was literally shaking at my computer, there was no HR to talk to, I was too scared to tell my manager that I was depressed and anxious and that it was interfering with my day to day. I went on holiday 2 weeks and she called me at 7 before I left to say that my work had not been good enough and that I needed to return relaxed and with a new attitude. Safe to say this hung over me for the entire trip and I struggled to relax. Things were made worse as I had severe food poisoning in the last few days of and was hospitalised. My main worry was that my boss was going to kill me for not coming back as she had requested.
10 days after returning from my trip, she put a catch up in my diary for 2pm, I was told that I was not the right fit for the job, I made too many mistake, by 6 months she would expect more and that she wanted me to leave immediately and say goodbye to the team. I found this extremely humiliating, she didn't even give me an opportunity to say anything.
I am now struggling with how to move forward and find new work and regain my confidence.
Welcome to the Forums! We can hear from your post that you've been going through an incredibly hard time. If you want to talk it through with our counsellors, please call 1300 22 4636, or reach out online here.
We’re sure we’ll hear from the community soon, but in the meantime, here’s a few things you might like to look at:
- HeadsUp’s leaflet on Taking care of yourself after losing your job
- HeadsUp’s information page on Workplace Bullying
- Information on unfair dismissal from the FairWork.Gov
It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums. You never know who might read this thread and feel less alone in their own experience.
No manager should treat their staff like that. In fact it sounds like your manager was a piece of work.
Hopefully you have some weight off your shoulders now that you no longer have to go into that workplace.
I have experienced the good, the bad and the average.
Larger organisations tend to be a lot more equiped to deal with HR and mental health concerns.
Your story about your experiences at work sound dreadful - not just the loss of your job, but what happened to you before you went on holidays. It also sounds as though you were treated a little unfairly and I as Sophie_M provided a link, you can look at information for unfair dismissals.
Losing a job at any time is stressful, and in these times perhaps more so. I don't know if you might find some answers in looking at similar stories to what you experienced on the forums here; if so, a google search ...
loss of job forums.beyondblue.org.au
will show a page with a number of links. Of course, if you want to talk more here about things and what you are going through I will listen and respond as I can.