how do you keep going ?

[saviourseth]

Hi. I am a 44 year old female who has been diagnosed with depression for 20 years. I have been on and off meds over the years and tried numerous drs also. No luck really. It never goes away. It's just some days I cope and a lot of weeks I don't.

Most days i bite my lip and carry on. Recently i am finding that harder day by day.

I have had recent relationship issues and broke up with a partner of 10 years and am now with an old partner who i have recently discovered is an alcoholic. Last week I was made redundant from my job and yesterday i found out my mum has 6 months to live. That tunnel of blackness seems to have no end in sight.

Its hard enough to cope under normal circumstances and now i feel like i am terrified of every new day. So much so that i dont want to go to bed.

any tips?

[blondguy]

Hi saviourseth

A Warm Welcome to the BB Forums

I do empathize for your situation and I am sorry that your depression is biting at the moment. I have had anxiety for 25 years and depression for 10 years and its a pain.

Generally Depression does stay with us for many years as you are aware. The best short term solution to alleviate this dark period you are in right now is your support network....a 'good' GP who you would be aware are trained much better nowadays to assist with depression.

I am sorry about your relationship breaking up....with existing depression that would be dreadful for you saviour

I split up with my GF last year and I was a mess....I do hear where you are coming from. I am on here because I suffer the same, there are many kind people on here that can be there for you right now. If I may ask you....do you have any anxiety symptoms? I just noticed the 'terrified' word.

From what you have recently been through and having depression your mind would be 'tired' so to speak...A tired mind can be a pest when you need a quality sleep. Depression can be the same as a physical injury and should be treated the same...

If you wish to post back regarding any anxiety you are more than welcome Saviour

Please be 'Gentle' to yourself right now....You are worth it...I am Paul and thankyou for the courage to post

Paul

[saviourseth]

Hi Paul

Thanks so much for your understanding words. I am such a mess right now i cant seem to get on top of it. I feel like everytime i get strength something else just beats me down.

You are right about the anxiety. Last night i woke up in the night having a panic attack and it frightened the hell out of me. Twice in one night. Never happened before. I feel like I am really losing it now.

Feel so alone and misunderstood. So sick of everyone saying everything will work out. I know they are trying to be nice.

Been down the psychiatrist road. Had 5 with no luck. Gave up. Lost cause!

Too soft. Too caring. Too considerate. I bleed for other people etc etc. That's what they tell me.

Wishing i was strong....just for an hour

Thanks again for replying Paul it means the world to me

[white knight]

Hi Saviourseth, welcome

I don't know how long its been since you had a medication review. Going on and off meds isn't good I don't think. Get a better med and stick with it could be the answer. It was for me. Been on my meds for 6 years now and wouldn't change them for anything.

Coping with trauma and upheaval? We can come across here like we have the answers for everything. I had a meltdown last week and it shocked me. So as sufferers we have our days. But your bad days should be greater than your down days IMO.

I've advocated on this forum for a long time now that the best answer to best management of our issues is a mix of remedies. The total of those mixes can have the best result. Mental illness is really serious as you know so lay all cards on the table and consider everything. Some changes considered should include-

1/ Change of environment. Ever had a argument and walked out to the yard. Soon you can reflect differently than had you remained indoors. Same with daily life. for me, moving to the country made significant positive effects on my well being. The simplicity of basic living. An open fire, a few chooks, painting the countryside, a dam with wild birds and so on.

2/ Toxic people. A significant improvement to my well being was to eliminate anyone that does not contribute positively to my life. This even included my mother cut off 6 years ago after a lifetime of abuse from her. Narcissists work against us.

3/ Work. Those with MI are less likely to be good at jobs that involve much interaction with people. Hospitality, retail etc. Try to seek work with limited contact.

4/ Relationships. Step parenting while we need caring ourselves is a challenge. Since I've been one and my ex partner was one to my daughters, I'd recommend a potential partner should possess key nurturing qualities. eg they need to love all children to be a calm accepting step parent. If these qualities aren't there the turmoil and hurt can be so deep as to cause the sufferer huge health issues. (I echo Blondeguys experiences)

5/ Hobbies/sports Distraction is needed for us. Hobbies and sports give us that. Even a sewing group or walking group. Boredom feeds dwelling.

6/ Cheap activities. Camping? Not much need really, a small tent, cooker, esky or 12V fridge and mattress. Even breaks of one or two nights can revitalise. Camping spots are within 90 minutes of major cities (I've looked) buy the book "Free Camps Australia"

Tony WK

[saviourseth]

Thanks White Knight for all the tips. It's nice to know I am not alone.