Crying for help.

[Jess_bee]

Tomorrow i am going to a beyond blue fundraiser for my friend who died last year. I wanted my partner to come with me enjoy the day out and most of all support me because i am falling apart. My kids are what make me get up each morning, if it weren't for them i don't know where i would be. Im crying out for his help and his closing the door. I cant keep doing this.

[Lori]

Hi Jess.bee,

I am really sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, my condolences.

Yes! It's great that what you are doing tomorrow it will be a great day and i agree with you that it would be good to be able to spend the time with your partner.

If your partner still refuses to go tomorrow are you able to take your kids ? It seems that your kids are very important part of your life which is amazing.

Has your partner said why he doesn't want to go ? Or why he keeps shutting you out ? Have you spoken to him about these issues ? Does he know your struggling ?

It's very important that when you are going through a hard time that you can confind in talking to some people and its always good to start with loved ones and friends but it definitely makes it hard when they shut you out. If he knows your struggling maybe he is shutting you out because he doesn't know how to help ? I'm not trying to make excuses for him but alot of people struggle to support other people because they don't know how. Also he must have a reason why he is doing this ?

Do you think he would sit down and listen to you for you to ask those questions ?

I think talking or trying to talk to him to let him know whats going on is important. If he doesn't end up going with you tomorrow do you have another person in mind ? Could you take the kids ?

But i do suggest try talk to him see what's going on. You're already doing the right thing by reaching out to us on here which is great but if your partner wont listen try talking to someone else whether its a health professional, on the forums, to a family memeber or close friend. Try not to bottle things up alot of people care about you and want to help you.

Stay in touch and stay strong! You will get through this! And i truly hope you have an absolute blast at the Beyondblue fundraiser event 🙂

-Lori 🙂

[geoff]

dear Jess.bee, when you go to the fund raiser today would it be possible for you to be able to talk with someone who you think will listen and understand your current position, and by saying this I don't mean that no one will be able to help you as all of them would do so, but you know when you see someone in crowd such as this fundraiser there is always someone that you feel you can connect with.
I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your friend who must have very close to you, and when this happens we feel lost, lost in a world of your own, but as much as you dearly love your children, they are unable to fill that gap, although they can definitely help.
I would really to know a bit more about your partner, and I'm only meaning on why he doesn't want to help you. Geoff. x

[Starwolf]

Hey Jess Bee,

Grief for the loss of a loved one is tough. My heart goes out to you. I hope tomorrow's fundraiser helps bring a sense of closure. Going there to honour your friend's memory is a great idea. S/he would be proud of you.

You are right, our children are precious, great motivators to keep us going. You are lucky to have each other.

It is sad that your partner is withdrawing his support. When face to face communication becomes too difficult, writing a letter to explain your feelings sometimes helps. There's less direct emotional pressure, so no confrontation. Written words can be carefully thought about, edited if necessary. They can also be read and re-read at leisure.

I'd be surprised if you didn't receive support and advice tomorrow. Please don't hesitate to ask for it. BB's purpose is to help people in difficult situations. There's a timely chance to go for it...

Thank you for sharing your feelings. I'm looking forward to reading how you go with the fundraiser. I hope it will be a good day for you and wish you all the best.