How do you handle disappointing others?

[Hayley]

When the depression hits hard I find that I cant commit to things like employment, volunteer work even friendships and family. Having to call and cancel or say I am unable to make it today brings anxiety because I feel so guilty that Im letting that person down, not being the best friend that I could be,daughter I could be, How do other people handle this any advice on this shared experience would be helpful.

[jessicao4469]

I have always had the same problem. Most of the people in my life now understand and don't give me a hard time about cancelling on things. This understanding has lessened my guilt. So I recommend explaining to people about your illness, and remind yourself it's not your fault.

[blondguy]

Hi Hayley, I have had depression for years and I do understand where you are coming from. Our self confidence can be low and we have difficulty in committing to anything because our mind is tired and overthinking.

I see you are member of blue voices which is great. Can I ask you if you have a good GP/therapist that you are getting regular counseling from? They can help give you a platform back on which you can heal and recover from the feeling of guilt from letting people down.Jessicao4469 has really made a great point on this:-)

You are not alone here Hayley, I hope you can keep posting

jessicao4469...Welcome to the forums and thankyou for the great post/help you have given to Hayley. Nice1:-)

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Sujema]

I wish I had an answer for you. I totally relate to what you are feeling. Of feeling like you are unable to be a support for family members and friends.

The only answer I have found for myself, is that, I am trying to have acceptance of the fact that people will generally not have the ability to empathise due to their ignorance of this complicated disease , unless they choose to inform themselves.

You and I did not choose this, and it doesn't define our true nature. I can only continue to reach out, be real about my pain, find the strength to be of service to others , and continue to find answers for myself.

I cannot control how others perceive me, this my journey, and as the old saying goes, until they walk a day in my shoes, I will try to be understanding of their inability to understand. And stay strong. Be at peace with my inability to help at times.

I wish you well.