How did you seek help?

[Maree1993]

I’ve been feeling low & unsettled & detached & all these things on and off for probably a couple of years or more now. So far I only managed to tell one friend about it a couple of months ago and I instantly regretted it. Not for anything my friend did - she was great. I can’t explain why I regretted it but I did.

I’m even engaged and my fiancé has no idea.

I want sit down and cry and tell someone everything but the idea of going to the GP and even broaching the topic is just horrifyingly uncomfortable. Even once you get in to talk to a counsellor? The whole thing seems so clinical and not real.

I never know if I’m happy with certain aspects of my life, is fear is holding me back from getting what I really want. But then I also think how do I know what I want?

I’m beyond conflicted on how I feel about life. And I’m uncomfortably, comfortable feeling this way..if that even makes sense.

What options do I have?

How did you all start?

What made you take a leap?

[Maggie_Mae]

Hi Maree. Firstly I want to say well done for wanting to reach out for help. It's certainly not an easy thing to do.

Your GP is a great first point of call. They have a lot of resources and will be able to give you right advice.

I hear you when you say you have fear holding you back I thing I made over ten appointment with my GP that I cancelled or made up some silly problem. For me it was saying it out loud somehow it made it real, I actually I ended up writing it down and asking the receptionist to give it to the GP for me before I went in so she was up to speed and she started the conversation not me.

Another option is taking your friend with you, moral support.

I also suggest talking to your partner, when you feel you can you can never have to much support.

It helped me to not think about everything involved (I know that isn't easy) but rather just take it one step at a time.

There are so many wonderful supportive people here with great advice and you have already taken a big first step by asking advice.

[Maree1993]

I know some of the reception people through my own job and outside of their work so I would feel awkward passing notes. I know they would be professional about it but it’s the thought of them knowing something, having it in the back of their mind if they see me elsewhere.

My GP is a male, who pretty much treats my whole family (not that having a male bothers me with anything else) but I don’t feel comfortable in this situation to tell.

But then I don’t feel comfortable telling a completely stranger who knows nothing about me. I have this idea in my head that they think ‘another person jumping on the gravy train’ because (not saying this trying to offend anyone) but I know I’ve thought that myself, that some people are just seeking attention.

I don’t know how to bring it up with my partner.

I always struggle in nearly any circumstance (even if it’s just being annoyed over something little) to explain how I’m feeling or what’s going on.

I’m not at all trying to put myself down when I say this but I literally don’t have the vocabulary to articulate it all.

And now that it’s gone on for so long I don’t know how believable the whole thing would seem. Especially since he has no idea (we don’t yet live together so I don’t see him every day).

It probably sounds selfish and lazy, and maybe even attention seeking? I dunno. But it’s like I want someone to sit down and say ‘cut the crap, what’s going on?’

Someone to really notice on their own.

[Swan_13]

Hey Maree...

It seems like you've always kept your thoughts pretty private so I'm glad that you were able to express them here. You sound confused as to why you're feeling this way. No one should have to go through this alone. You mentioned that you struggle to find the right words to explain what's going on, but I just wanted to point out that I think you've done a great job doing so here.

I completely agree that saying things out loud can make them a reality, so it makes sense why you felt unsettled after telling your friend. It’s like you’re admitting to yourself that you’re not okay – which is a scary thought. I could be completely wrong, but maybe this plays a part in being scared to articulate your feelings to a doctor (on top of the other reasons you've listed). Saying things out loud can be confronting - the more we talk about things, the more we uncover, and there's a chance of uncovering something not so pleasant. In saying that, uncovering these things is the first step towards working on them and moving past them.

I can relate to not being comfortable going to my family GP for certain things. I know I've feared judgement from mine in the past. It might be awkward telling another GP who's a complete stranger, but it could also be helpful to have an objective opinion – have you considered searching for any other doctors as a first step?

I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions... Are there things going on in your life at the moment that are making you feel low, unsettled and detached? Or, is it maybe an absence of things in your life that are making you feel this way? In an ideal situation, where you felt it was the right time to tell your fiance, what would you tell them?