Hi, need some advice regarding Depression and Aspergers

PaulP · ‎06-08-2013

Hi,

I have been suffering with depression for over 5 years now and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I am Married and have 3 kids who I love and they love me.

Depression for me was pretty bad (like most of us) and took me a while to see a doctor about having depression (I am a male!). The doctor put me on an antidepressant 20mg (one per day) and I recently started to come off them. I am currently on 5mg every other day.

The problem that I found is that the medication made me like a dump robot, simply walking around, not really thinking a lot. Before the medication I did think of taking my own life but I am at least thankful that I no longer have these thoughts. This drove my wife crazy because she could not get a conversation out of me. So we both decided that I should taper off the medication over 6 months and I am on my final leg.

Because I think completely differently to most people and don't "see" things as other people do also caused my wife a lot of stress, mainly because I put everything down to the medication. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I know it's very late in my life (I am 40) but at least it provides some explains the way I think and act.

I have also see a councillor (my wife also attended these sessions as well) to help be get to the root cause of my depression. At the end there was no one single answer that could explain this. I think this was due to a stressful job at the time.

Coming off the medication has made me feel more me again, which is great but (there is always a but!) it has changed me.

The new problem that I am currently facing is that my wife still says that I am snappy and moody with her all the time, even though I am finding this hard to see (not saying she is wrong, just cannot see it) which has been going on for several months now. For me, I just see me self, I not unhappy but I would say more confused than anything.

When I talk to my wife I don't see my self being snappy or more, though I do see this now and then but not everyday. What this is doing to me is making it hard for me to talk to my wife, not because I don't want to but I have to think 3 or 4 times what I am going to say before I say it. I also try and think what pitch my voice should be so it does not come across snappy/moody.

It seems no matter what I say or how I say it, my wife always takes this as me been snappy / moody with her, which is not.

Any advice would be great.

Thank you.

Paul.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎06-08-2013

Dear Paul,

Why don't you go back to the GP ? Give him the zombie/high dose, snappy/low dose scenario and hope for a balance. Much of the snappyness is probably your brain going hell for leather after being incarcerated with the high dose. You are Tom Cruise in a High Class Brothel trying to prove you are the Top Gun.

The wife says bit. Mmmm, You know, they are the best judges of change. It's lovely that she speaks her mind directly and watches out for you. For me, and I'm sometimes in the same situation with a manic side of bipolar, having some observations on my behaviour from someone I trust is something I rate very highly. I even let her control the remote.

Adios, David.

Catatonic · ‎06-08-2013

I'm sorry to hear of your depression and Asperger diagnosis.

Are you tapering down with the assistance of your GP? it's really important that these medications get weaned off under supervision.

With regards to your wife and the issues you have posted... Could you maybe ask her to tell you when she feels that you are being snappy with her? Then call a Time out? and go back to think about it before continuing on with what ever conversation you were having?

Also I'm glad to hear that your wife attends counselling with you - is this something that you could bring into counselling and have a third party suggest some other alternatives?

vip · ‎08-08-2013

Hi PaulP yes make sure you monitor your moods write it in a diary when you are feeling snappy or being snappy maybe your wife can record it. I have recently come off antidepressants also and i noticed i was extremely snappy also but moods are getting better. I exercise a lot at my local gym and find that helps my moods. But yes do mention this next time you see your councillor as this is important information. Its probably just your mind and body getting used to going back to normal after all the medication but do take note of what other people or especially your wife is saying because they notice it more.