Have a problem I am not totaly sure if its a problem or if its me being a twit?

Dennis38 · ‎30-10-2013

Ok so here is the question for all you lovely people out there, both guys and gals.

Today I did something I have not done in a while and that is send my resume and CV in answer to a help wanted ad. But as I was writing up the CV and straighting out my resume, I suddenly got this really tight feeling in my gut, stomach started to knot on me, started to get really nervous and very teary. I sent the CV and resume off despite all of this sudden gut churning emotional roller coaster and as it went out via email I started to really back slide into a bit of a depression. And I am honeslty not sure what the hell brought that on, nor is this the first time this has happened, and this is just sending the CV out, its not like I am going to an interview or anything.

Was just sending out a letter basically! Even thinking about it now has me shivering a little and I am not sure why, if its dread, fear, or me just being a twit, now do keep in mind that I have not worked in 13 years thanks to being run over. I have two advance degrees, a BS in computer networking and a Masters of Information Systems and I am even going after an MBA with a consceintration in marketing, so I do know my stuff for when I am applying for a job. And of course I know that when and if I get yet another rejection letter that will cause me to do a tail spin into a depression, which of late I can kind of stop myself from going to deep, that and my wife and dog are a big help in that matter when I let them in. So any ideas of what the hell is going on and better yet how do I stop myself from sliding into the depression that shows up when I get a rejection email? Any ideas would be greatfully excepted!

vip · ‎30-10-2013

Hi Dennis dont blame you for getting all worked up especially you havnt worked for a while and knowing if you do get this job will be a big step and knowing if you dont it will be a disappointment. I was homenot working for 5 yrs so getting back into it was a bloody big deal for me honestly i was nervous i doubted myself it took a while but im ok now and believe me got heaps of rejection letters. Just see how you go and wait for that reply thats all you can really do knowing you have tried have to be happy with that. Maybe dont feel so depressed knowing heaps of us on this forum exactly in the same position. Also could you try a bit of voluntary work in your field of expertise to help dont know how you feel about that. Goodluck with it all.

geoff · ‎31-10-2013

dear Dennis, could it be that by sending out your CV and resume is that you are going to be judged either way, but more so in a detrimental way, and to someone suffering from depression this is not what you want.

For not being able to work for 13 years because there was this enormously strong barricade which has destroyed your confidence and self esteem.

Your a very intelligent chap and your knowledge must have been missed by many. Geoff.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎31-10-2013

Dear Dennis,

That's not good. Once I had the same feeling just backing the car out of the drive. My expectations of the day weren't going to be met. I couldn't face the job. It was another day of mental illness. As my brother put it once "Why should I bother ?".

Isn't mental illness just one big rejection ? No doubt you will find something in the end but it will take some effort. But then, it could be worth it.

Adios, David.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎31-10-2013

Hey Nes,

And those not on the forum can be in the same position too. BB is not a vacuum.

Adios, David.

Vegetarian Marshmallow · ‎31-10-2013

If it's any comfort, in my experience, most employers don't even tend to bother with rejection letters anyway 😛 . Just friendly, apathetic silence.

I've gradually learned to foster a crop of sour grapes - responding to apathy with apathy - which I think is actually a more useful thing than getting down about things.

Dennis38 · ‎31-10-2013

Thanks all for the advice its greatly appreciated! I will try to keep it in mind as I continue to look for a job, just really tired of the feelings that can grab ahold of me and that's just sending the stuff in. And I will freely admit I have screwed things up on purpose a time or two, mostly out of fear which is kind of silly but that feeling in the pit of my stomach is a strong one, and cabbage I prefer the rejection letter, sounds weird but I would prefer closer instead of not hearing anything back at all and wonder what has happened, did my email get to them, was my resume ok, things of that general nature.

David this will sound strange/whinny but I am tired of waiting, there have been a few set backs that were out of my control and oddly enough not working did come in handy when my mother in law was dieing as I could stay here and help keep her company and just watch out for her while the wife went to work so that someone was always here, just in case. But I would like to know how to control the feelings, because the "why bother" feeling can be a real killer.

Geoff not sure about if the feelings is about being judged, could be will have to explore that area as I have not really thought of it that way, thank you for giving me another point of view, and thank you everyone for the support and ideas, but if anyone has any ideas on how to control the feelings I am all ears, or at least ease the stomach from knotting because that really plays hell on my eating habit and I really do like eating!