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Grief, Loss and Depression all at once, losing too much weight but just have no motivation to eat or do anything

HanARGHH
Community Member
Just over a week ago i found out the person i had been actively persuing for six and a half months who also happen to be the person i considered my best friend who i felt i could tell anything to and we would stay up all hours of the day and night to talk, had an online ldr gf of a year and a half, neither of us (her and me) knew, i immediately confronted him and he told me he confessed to her, not believing him (which ended up being a intuitive thing cause i found out today i was right, he lied) i sent her 100s of screenshots of our conversations and a long message to explain my side, i never would have gone near anyone knowing they have a SO as i have been cheated on and i know how much it hurts, she still hasn’t seen them due to privacy settings on fb though but i told him i sent them too her as she has a right to know as well as told him to sort his life out an get help for doing this to people, i feel so betrayed, sick, upset and lost... i know i deserve better then this but i also am struggling with coming to terms with the loss, we have gone from talking for hours every day to nothing, I haven’t been able to eat, the thought makes me sick..i have been having dark thoughts and my depression has crept in (i have been battling it for 15 years) i just don’t know what to do, im losing too much weight (i am 58kg and) 5’9” mentally i am bothered by it but i just cant bring myself to eat or do anything right now, part of me is just like well if you die you die, ohwell. How do i get out of this? I feel so damn lost and I don’t know what to do, i miss having that person to talk to every day but at the same time i could never trust him again and I wouldn’t even try because i don’t think it’s appropriate while he is with her that we even talk and try to build it back up a friendship at all.. i just want to move on and be able to try to eat but everything is a chore, living even feels like one, i’m just so lost.
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

I dont want to sound like I'm downplaying your sitauation at all, but these sorts of life lessons is what makes us stronger and until we have gone throught this (like committing so much time and personal discussion with one person for so long) you wouldnt have learnt that lesson until it has occured.

It is not you fault. That is clear- you trusted and got your heart broken.

So what is the greatest remedy on earth for this grief/dissappointment? Time. You cant rush time nor buy it, it is a remedy that allows the topic to drift away at its own pace. The only thing that cant make you feel better for short periods is distraction- plough your mind into sports, hobbies, friends, family, travel and so on.

Plese google the following

Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

Beyondblue topic distraction and variety

TonyWK

tranzcrybe
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi HanARGHH,

Thank you for bringing such positive news to the forums - at great personal cost, you have chosen the higher path in not standing for deception. Please don't take it out on yourself as you are the innocent victim here.

I respect and admire you for your actions in considering the SO. Take comfort in your integrity and move forward with confidence - you understand the essence of true friendships/relationships and this will put you in good stead for finding a recipient worthy of your affections.

Regards,

t.