Giving up

[Jarred28]

I’m really over this whole depression thing. I finally start to feel better and then suddenly I’m in bed crying thinking about how worthless I am and nothing ever works out the way I hope. Not one person shows that they care about me. I just wanna run away and hide forever, I hate any social environment. Will I ever be happy

[Sophie_M]

Hey Jarred28,

We're so sorry to hear that you're struggling with negative feelings around your worth. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. We can hear how upset and overwhelmed you must be feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe space to express yourself, and our caring community is here to help support you through this difficult time.

Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? We understand it can be really tough to cope sometimes, especially if you don't have a lot of support from family or friends. Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals to help you through this. 

Please know that you can always reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed, and you don't have to keep these feelings bottled inside. If things are feeling like too much to cope with, our lovely friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are there for you anytime, day or night, to help you during these difficult moments.

Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please feel free to tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.

[Lion_heart_2019]

Tell me about it..I know exactly how you feel buddy but just know you are not worthless!! You are worthy in every way just believe in yourself & hold your head up high much love❤️💯

[therising]

Hi Jarred28

I feel so deeply for you as you face the incredible challenges that come with depression. There were many times within my 15 or so years in depression where I asked that question 'When is this going to end?'

You mention finally starting to feel better when everything takes a 'downshift'. I do understand where you're coming from. While I left my depression behind me some years ago, there would be times where I'd experience myself standing on the brink of revisiting that long term torture. I'd be incredibly low on these occasions with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. Finally, I couldn't take this anymore, I had to know why this kept happening. The thought of facing that brink for the rest of my life was really leading me to feel fearful and down. It had to stop.

I began to wonder why this kept happening. Wonder's highly underrated by the way. What came to mind, in the moment where my revelation kicked in (after a heck of a lot of wondering), was 'Every challenge holds the potential to either raise you or depress you'. I thought 'Seriously, could it be that simple?!' Based on all my past experiences in life, it made sense. Jarred, if I asked you 'What skills where you given in life when it comes to rising to challenges and consciously evolving through them?' there's a good chance you'd give the same answer most give - 'I wasn't given any such skills'. It's kinda messed up when you think about it. Without any significant skills to reference in this area, most of us are pretty much 'winging it' through life.

I'm still mastering this by the way but whenever I begin feeling down or angry, I see this as a cue to ask 'What is the challenge I'm facing here?' I will always use wonder in order to receive a little inspiration, in the way of answers. Eg: I wonder 'Why I'm feeling so down'. What may come to mind is 'Everyone around you is depressing'. Could be true. So, the challenge might be to say to folk around me 'Get your s**t together people and raise me. You're seriously bringing me down!' You can love raising people Jarred but sometimes you gotta ask 'Who's raising the raiser?'. In other words, who's raising me?

Identifying what is required of us in a challenge takes skill. Mastering challenge is skillful. Thriving on challenge is exhilarating.

PS: A couple of things to wonder about, when things aren't going to plan - 1) Who or what could be sabotaging my efforts and 2) is the challenge actually over or am I being tested within it?

🙂

🙂

[Jarred28]

Yeh I am receiving help, I’m doing much better than I used to be just not sure when all this will end

[BetweenThePoles]

Hi there Jarred,

I’m relatively new here but I wanted to let you know that I’m really glad that you’re here and that you’re reaching out for guidance and support. You’ve come to the right place and are very fortunate to have people like therising by your side and imparting their wisdom, knowledge and understanding upon you. I know that you will hear this from many people but there are two things that you should hold — you are definitely not alone and although it may not feel this way right now, what you are experiencing will pass, sooner than you can imagine.

Whenever you experience these feelings, come here and write. There is a virtual cornucopia of people that can relate to how you’re feeling and they will support you. I myself have laid on my bed and cried, feeling as though nobody cares and that I’m worthless. As I write this, I suffer from some of ‘the most crippling depression and feelings ‘of loneliness I’ve ever experienced, like I can’t reach out to the people I used to. But I do have people I can reach out to, and so do you. They’re right here buddy.