Getting things done

Goldee

I have had depression since I was 13, am now in my 50's, and I really struggle to get things done. This hasn't always been the case but since I left full-time work due to physical injuries five years ago I can't seem to finish anything. Now I work casually and even though I have more than enough time to complete things, not much gets finished. If something is urgent it gets done, however, the rest of the stuff I have partly done gets pushed aside and rarely completed. Now there are piles of uncompleted tasks lying around everywhere. Instead of finishing off something I watch tv, watch YouTube videos or play computer games. I take medication which may explain some slowness but the piles of uncompleted tasks continues to grow and it's just getting worse. Any suggestions on how to overcome not getting things completed would be helpful.

therising

Hi Goldee

I used to think getting things done was automatic, until I found myself struggling and questioning 'Why do I struggle to complete tasks?'. I feel so deeply for you as you try to find the best path forward in the way of self understanding and progress.

I've found there can be so many different reasons for not being able to get things done or see things through to completion. Just some of what can be on the list

Low levels of dopamine. Dopamine helps with motivation
A natural aversion to what's boring. So, if a task becomes boring we can find our self naturally disconnecting from it
Major issues with focus. Focus can require a lot of skill at times and some things can definitely test us, in seeing how skillful we are (even the little things)
An overall lack of energy

and the list goes on.

I just finished reading an inspiring book by a fellow named Jocko Willink. People like him and David Goggins (both ex navy SEALs) will say 'You have to learn to work without motivation because it's not always going to be there'. Yep, easier said than done. In some cases, it can be a skill to work thoughtlessly, a skill to switch into autopilot. In other cases, a lot of mental processing (thinking) can be required.

Developing an emotional connection with a particular task can be another skill. It's not necessarily about completing the task, it's about getting a high out of the emotional connection. Finding the right 'co-worker' can involve another skill, someone to help us complete a task. Learning to tap into our somewhat brutal inner commander or inner drill sergeant can be another skill, the part of us that can sound a little like our inner critic at times, 'No excuses, get off the couch NOW! You are lazy, a waste of space and good for nothing. GET UP NOW AND PROVE ME WRONG!!!!'. Our inner disciplinarian helps generate self discipline. As I say, getting things done can require a variety of skill sets. It wasn't until I began to struggle with getting things done that I realised I seriously lack self discipline and strategies. As a 54yo gal, I figure diving into various forms of self development can be a matter of 'better late than never'. As someone who's also managed the ins and outs of periods in depression over the years, the mind (mental issues) and body (physical and chemical issues) can tend to really challenge us when it comes to starting or completing tasks.

For me, structure plays an enormous part when it comes to self discipline and getting things done. I must have a structured routine in place with a solid sense of time management, otherwise I constantly fail to get things done. Physically ticking each thing off the list triggers a chemical high. I've also found that when life is structured, with a job to go to, the limited time we have outside working hours tends to push us to get things done outside of work. Kinda like 'I have to do this today, as I'm working tomorrow'. Also, having a job to go to tends to help us exercise self discipline and structure. 'In order to get to work at 9, I have to be up at 7am, have a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, drive to work, park my car...'. No job to go to or a casual form of time management can mean a lack of exercising self discipline and structure.

People struggle with structure, inner chemistry, focus, self discipline etc based on different reasons. While I struggle based on my own reasons, my 19yo son struggles with having a high functioning autistic brain and my 22yo daughter struggles with an ADHD brain. Of course, we're so much more than our brain (that processor up there in our head) but it can still remain a challenge for us to work with and master.

sbella02

Goldee,

Thank you so much for reaching out, welcome. Therising has already given some great advice and covered a lot of what I came here to say, and I have a few suggestions to add based on my own experiences.

What Therising has said about working regardless of whether motivation is present is very true, albeit it's easier said than done. Often times we'll wait for motivation to strike in order to go through with a task, but sometimes we need to push ourselves to do it regardless, and it'll come to us later. Here's my tip for that:

Having structure can really help, as Therising has said. I'm notorious for starting tasks and not finishing them, and there are a few things I do to combat this. I create lists and schedules where I write down non-urgent tasks as if they have a deadline - sometimes, a time limit can help give you something to work towards, which can be helpful if you find that you're good with finishing urgent tasks but not those that don't have any real urgency but may still be important.

The other thing I've started doing is putting on YouTube videos or music in the background of whatever I need to get done. This tends to work, as it's almost a productive form of procrastination, where you can have that fix of "fun" whilst also paying attention to what's important to get done.

I hope this helps, and we're here to support you if you need to chat some more, or need more advice.

Take care, SB

Goldee

Thank you for your reply and your suggestions on what might be the cause. There are numerous things I think it could be but have yet to work out if it's one cause or a combination of a few. I feel it might be the latter. Previously I had a weekly planner which helped me complete things so I might have to go back to doing that in order to get things done.

Goldee

Thanks for your advice SB. I like your idea of writing down things on a list and giving them a deadline for the non-urgent but important things. I've set up a table in my lounge room to enable me to work on things while I'm watching TV. It works OK because if there's a show I really want to watch I'll deliberately sit in the lounge chair. For anything else it's at the table. I found I didn't accomplish anything sitting at a desk looking at a wall, even with music on. Plus, my motivation is virtually non-existent.