Gave my all and still became a recluse..

[jigglypuff99]

I was broken from a young age.. my toxic parents didn't help me develop certain skills... but that was ok, I tried my best with no support, I worked my fingers to the bone in factories not knowing what my future held. I eventually got out the factory and still work on my career on a daily basis.And try to get ahead. But an overwhelming depression and lack of energy for life coupled with bad choices bad friends and toxic family has left me alone sitting on the couch every minute I am not at work. Fat. And isolated beyond the ability to pull myself out of a hole. Without the energy to light up a room I have now found I am even struggling at work now.. working in male dominated industries you need to be aggressive or you will not survive. My fear is I am a train heading in the direction of a family-less , lonely , broken down body and empty life type town for which I tried my best to avoid. And this train is an express

[PamelaR]

Hello Jigglypuff

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. So good you've made your way here because of the difficult space you're in.

Though from what you've written, you've achieved a lot in your life. You've had a job, working in a male dominated industry and survived. That is truly an something to feel proud about.

Depression can put you in a hole, it can be so hard. I have depression too. When it hits, it is so hard to pull yourself out. Do you mind if I ask questions as we go along? There is no pressure for you to answer.

I find that when I talk with someone when I'm down it helps me significantly. Do you have friends or family to support you at the moment? Alternatively, do you have a gp and/or therapist you see on a regular basis?

Writing in journals is also a helpful way of getting out what is troubling you. You talk about being family-less, lonely, broken down. I do feel for you, that's a hard place to be. Reaching out here is really good. You'll find people will come along to respond to your post.

If you feel like you talking some more, please do. There are many of us here who have depression and can relate to what you are experiencing. You are not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[sunny]

hi Jigglypuff

Pamela r is right you have achieved a major hurdle in life and that is finding a job and sticking with it. I understand what it is to feel lonely and depressed it is hard to manage anything you just don't have that energy to thrive.

I don't know if you have a GP or a psychologist but I would really recommend it.

Maybe you could study and work towards a different career put something positive in your life and meet new people

your never alone you have people here who understand what you are going through

kind regards

sunny

[Allan533]

Jigglypuff, I can absolutely relate to your story of having to work hard to get even a bit of a career going, and still going home alone. Granted, it sounds like you've had a much harder run than I have: I'm lucky enough to be in academia (working on PhD now) rather than physical labour, but even that requires a high degree of social interaction and deftness that I just don't have, despite years of trying. And even within that, I have few friends, and nobody close. I've really, really pushed myself to have a social circle: I've somehow ended up running my local Go club (not because of merit, because literally nobody else wanted the job. Seriously, that's not me being self-deprecating, it's literally the reason), and I'm learning German in night classes. But still, ultimately, I go home alone, with nobody calling me.

I wish I could say something to help you feel better, I do. I wish I could say that it will get better, but I just can't promise that. But I can say that you aren't the only one suffering or feeling like this.

[jigglypuff99]

Thank you for your empathy alan. And sunny & pam.Its nice knowing somebody out there cares. And has been in the same position. Wouldn't it be a nice world if people just excepted each other.. Anyway.. Any day alive is a chance to turn things around..