First step taken... anxious / despressed for no good reason

[V1234]

Hi there,

This is my first post here.  This week's been tough, I have woken up and cried every morning.  I have come to terms with the fact that I have mild depression and anxiety and it's been very confronting to admit that.

I don't have a story as such, I come from a good family/friends/fiancé - however feel anxious and depressed.  For many years, I told myself I don't have any 'thing' to be sad about and brushed the feelings aside again and again.  I told myself to move on / focus on the positives and other clichés.  But late last week I couldn't do this any longer. With the help of a close friend who said 'mate you've got the black dog and you need some help'... I went to see my GP, got a mental health plan and got some time with a Psychologist.

I'm embarrassed that I feel this way 'for no good reason'

I'm also a bit scared of needing medication to help me get better.  I can't keep crying everyday.

I'm also worried about recovering/adjusting to medication while continuing working.

Thank you for reading.

[White_Rose]

Dear V1234

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Congratulations on joining this forum and also for confronting your depression and anxiety. It's always hard to admit we have problems, especially those that are not obvious or cannot be easily fixed.

Let me assure you the Black Dog is no respecter of persons.  No matter who or what you are, given the slightest opportunity that wretched dog will jump in and run riot if allowed.

You have done exactly the right thing in talking to your GP. Have you met with your psych yet? I expect you will feel a little uncomfortable at first because it is such a new experience and you have no idea what will happen. Don't worry, the psych will not bite.

I'm not entirely sure why you are scared of needing medication. Do you dislike all medications? I understand a little about taking antidepressants as I was reluctant to take them initially. I thought they were a sign of weakness and proof of my inability to function. However, we are happy to take panadol for a headache or antibiotics for an infection without feeling conspicuous. If your doctor feels you need an AD then take it.

It's true some ADs have side effects that are uncomfortable. Generally they are not debilitating and usually go away after few weeks. If this does not happen then go back to your doctor and get a different AD. I spent 18 months trying to find an AD that both worked and had no horrendous side effects, but never needed to stop work because of them. By the way, most ADs take about six weeks to kick in so do not be disappointed if there is no quick change in your mood.

Feeling embarrassed for "having no good reason" for depression is such a common thing. Why you get depressed and your friend does not is a mystery. There is no character flaw, no weakness, and in short no rhyme or reason. The Black Dog strikes at will and doesn't care who it bites. The person who discovers the reason for depression will make a fortune I suspect. Please try not to beat yourself up about it. I know it's easy to say and not so easy to do, but try to accept it has happened and concentrate on getting well again.

Depression does all sorts of things to our brains and makes us believe we are the pits. Don't listen. Instead become as informed as possible. Explore the tabs at the top of the page and read the information there. BB will send you any information you want. Remember the BB helpline 1300 22 4636 if you want to talk to someone.

Please write in again and tell us how you are going.
Mary

[Narniakid]

Hi V1234 and welcome to BB!

Like Mary said, don't ever be ashamed of having depression and anxiety - we are human, we are all capable of feeling vulnerable and sad, but it does not make us any less of a wonderful person.

Well done on seeing your GP and seeking help - taking that first step in realising you have a problem is one of the toughest, because you feel like you're admitting to yourself that you're weak - wrong. You are so strong and you are going to get through this. 

Again, as Mary said, there isn't any particular reason why some people get depression and some people don't - rather than questioning why, just take a deep breath, accept that this is the present, and look to the future with your chin held high.

Don't be afraid of the medication. I've been on antidepressants for about 5 years now, and I have completely turned my life around, along with the help of my beloved psychologist. 

Once again I applaud you for taking this first step. BB provides brilliant information and services, and always remember you are never ever alone on your journey.

Stay strong, it gets better.

Crystal