Feeling lonely

[Ace.x-ray]

It has been a while since I have written anything but during these hard times I have been feeling left out and lonely my friends do not want to hang out with me, they never ask me to hang out with them and never text me how I am going or what I am doing. I understand they are busy with their own lives and having problems during this pandemic.

But I feel utterly alone, I am a shy and introvert person, but my friends never seemed to care enough to send one text message. I see their posts on instagram posting pictures of going out with their friends, which they are having the time of their lives, and here I am stuck at home bored, keeping safe from this pandemic. but once in a while I would like to go out and have fun.

I feel jealous and left out no one cares enough to text me to hang out, I always feel forgotten, is it because I am a boring person, that I don't talk much, now I don't know if they are truly my friends. It is hard for me to make friends. this is stressful enough, as I am dealing with my loss of job, break up and severe depression. I just feel like a failure and that I am worried about my future. I hate feeling this way but it has always been stuck with me my entire life.

[Slipperyfish]

I feel exactly the way you feel. I feel as though I’m always the one reaching out and trying to make the effort to see people but it’s me returned. I continually just at home being a loner, partly because going out is stressful but mostly because I’m never invited. I’m so stressed about money which is why I tend to not get out but if I was invited for a coffee or something I would 100% go.

I also just lost my job right as I was starting the ivf process to be a single mum and now I feel like I can’t look after and support myself let alone a child.

I wish there was something I could say or do to help you feel better being lonely is almost the most unbearable pain there is. But I suppose just know you aren’t alone, and I know exactly how you feel.

[Amanda2000]

Me too me too! You are certainly not alone. There are many of us in this group. I've already chatted in a few threads about "lack of friends" in the past month.

I've given up on making friends. I've had acquaintances at various stages in life but never any close friends. Yes I was the one always reaching out instead of being invited by others. That's ok, over the years I've learnt to really enjoy my alone-time, like playing an instrument and binging on tv. I feel exhausted after socialising/going out and I need alone-time to recharge my energy.

Sorry to hear about your job loss. If you feel like you're at the lowest point right now, life can only improve from here on, right? I do believe good times are waiting for us sometime in the future but we just can't see it yet!

[Emmen]

Hello Ace.x-ray,

As another shy and introverted person, I fully understand that lonely feeling. It's worse when you see people having fun with others, but not even making any time for you. I do know that people don't invite me along is because I tend to reject them (either when they do activities I'm not into, or simply because I'm not in the mood). I guess they get tired of asking too after a while.

Have you considered joining an interest group for an activity you're interested in? Perhaps hiking, or music etc.? I find these to be a good way to socialize on my own terms, in a manner I'm comfortable in. You can also look at online communities if you prefer to socialize online.

Kindly,
M

[Rishie]

Ace.x-ray
I'm another introvert and I have experienced the same sorts of things that you mention here. It's an awful feeling when it seems like the people that we care about don't have time for us anymore. It hurts, and as shy introverts it's not so easy to go out and make new friends. I've made some friends at church and one of them takes me swimming once or twice a week, and we have become closer that way.

I agree with the others here who said maybe you should find an interest group around some activity that you like, but that can be hard too if you live in a country town like me, or for other reasons it may be difficult to find a good group to belong to, but I hope you can find something. You know you can always talk on here. I haven't been here for ages either, but I've always found people here to be helpful and caring.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Ace.x-ray, welcome.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I have no friends either, so I relate to everything you said, minus the job since I've never been in the work force. So if anyone's a failure, it's me, not you.

I wish I could be your friend in person. I haven't hung out with anyone since 2018 and it was a toxic friend.

[Weaponsofmassdisstortion]

I know I am late to the party but I will post a reply anyway

I have had social anxiety for most of my life. I am also a natural introvert. I am actually so introverted I think I may have a form of autism. I am also a complete loser. I have achieved almost nothing in my life. So, it comes as no surprise that I have a lot of trouble making friends. I think a large number of people in these forums are in the same kind of situation.