Feeling let down

[CB81]

It was my birthday a few days ago and although I've never made a big deal of it I have been deeply hurt by the fact my friends didn't remember and only one texted. Another friend emailed in reply to someone else and mentioned my birthday. It makes me feel sick as I think so much of them and I'm not even worth a text! They all have partners and babies and this proves they don't think much of me. I don't want to speak to them or see them again. But then I will truly be on my own.

[Unbeliever]

Aww... Happy belated birthday CB81.

I've never been much of a birthday celebrater myself. I like other peoples birthdays no problem, but my own? Not so much.

I have noticed that in these "post facebook" days that people rarely remember peoples birthdays by heart anymore. Too used to relying on getting "notifications" to remind them. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but it has become one of those modern day unfortunate side effects of a modern convenience.

By chance, do not have a facebook account or you have hidden your birthday from appearing on your facebook account? If so, I would bet dollars to donuts that this is likely what it is.

If they knew it was your birthday on the day, perhaps they would of messaged you. I don't know them of course, so I'm just hypothesising.

I have a friend who had his first child over 2 years ago. Since then, I have barely seen him. I don't blame him, from what I understand "regular sleep" is still a distant memory for him. So I don't think he is exactly functioning at 100%. I feel a bit sorry for him really.

Years ago I used to get really angry about things that I would do for people I cared about that they would rarely if ever do for me. It seemed so unfair, I felt really disappointed in them.

Then one day I realised that I was expecting other people to be like me, to think the way I do... and it occurred to me that putting expectations on other people was equally unfair of me.

They are not me, and expecting them to be was just unrealistic... and once this sunk in, I suddenly felt better about it and it stopped bothering me so much.

The truth is... I didn't do these things for people because I expected an "equal return", I did it because I liked them and I wanted to. I was actually doing it for me.

I guess it is like giving someone a gift only in the expectation of a gift in return. But that then that means that you are not giving a gift at all... it just becomes an exchange or trade arrangement, not a gift.

It might not be "fair" or balanced, but it made me feel better about these kinds of things and at the end of the day despite their faults I loved them for a reason.

Anyway, that is just my point of view. At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you.

[Robbie_A]

Hi CB81,

Firstly Happy Birthday for the other day,yoir although your friends didn't remember I hope you got to enjoy it with family..

Ok.. What I can say is expectations on others causes resentment.. A negative emotion you don't want to or need to feel..

For example you might remember all to your friends birthdays and text em every year,i have to admit I'm one of those people who never forget,but then half my friends forget mine,and yes it does make you feel down and maybe like you should be worth a text message at least.. But what I came to understand is that I'm not doing something to get something in return..

It makes me feel good sending those textes out on there birthdays but I try not to let it bother me if I don't always get it in return. I'm happy enough doing something that brings me happyness and puts a smile on my face 😊..

In the end I guess we just have to remember they are not you or me,they are themselves and expecting them to do what we would do is unfair..

Don't beat yourself up about it,just remember this world is a busy place and everyone gets busy with there own life and sometimes these things happen. All we have to do is keep doing the right thing for ourselves..

happy birthday again CB81