Feeling isolated

[lukain]

new to this so bear with me ..  I guess it started 10 or so years ago with the loss of My best friend " My dad " keep in mind I was never a really outgoing Life of the party type to begin with . with my closes family 900miles away I relied on what was my core group of friends . for most of my life I keep 3-4 close friends  and never really felt the need to make new ones

After depression/anxiety set in alone came more issues - Insomina , Tinnitus, Diabetes ect ect .. this made me fell even more alone and within 6 Month I was place on a Pension & a strick regime of Medications .. withing a Year my closes friend who have been showing signs of lossing intress in me as a friend " can't really blame him I guess" then another friend suffered a Stroke and yeat anoth cancer so all our lifes changed  no more Golfing , camping ect - I still take my friend that suffered a stroke to the movies a few times a Month where we have a good time . the last of my close 4 friend moved 800 Miles south  & I only see him 1-2 times a year now 

 Sorry If i am sounding like i am making excuses for bening lonley  I just am finding it so tough  to put myself out there "do I even know how anymore ? I dont know ..  I have been looking at Meetup.com  groups  but that though of gathering with 20 strangers terrifies my to no end ..

I guess a little info about me is needed , I am Male 51 on a Pension so I lots of free time 🙂  I consider myself to be a Kind person & very loyal someone who you can rely on .. while I am not the greatest conversationalist  I do my best , I like going to the Movies  and enjoy long walks "to loss a few pounds" I enjoy 4 Wheel driving in the bush , computer game that challenge me listing to Jpop even though I don't understand a word  🙂 I am looking at buying a Bike to ride around Parramatta Park

Thanks

Mark

Ps : Please excuse any grammer and spelling issues,

[Neil_1]

Hi there Mark

Thank you for providing your post and I’d like to extend a warm welcome to you to Beyond Blue.

Oh man, I know what it’s like to lose your ‘best friend’ – your Dad.  Mine left this world, um, closing in on 7 years now.  Still feels a hell of a lot like yesterday – and I still grieve for him – as I imagine you may well still be doing also.  Nothing wrong with that in my book – it’s just something we have to live and deal with.

May I ask are you still taking a range of medications??   And if so, that would mean that you would be having ‘regular’ appointments with a treating professional (eg:  doctor or psychiatrist) – whichever person is in control of scripting out your medications??

Also, no need ever to apologise on this site – you said sorry for sound like you’re making up excuses.  Mark, you’re not making up excuses – you’re simply stating it how it is.  And it’s damn good that you’re doing that, as it lets us know your situation a little bit better and in turn helps us to be able to better advise you, if we can.

Also great to read about your interests that you’ve mentioned and you just never know – like a 4-wheel drive thing – I’m sure there’d be groups/clubs of 4-wheel drivers out there.  If you could find one and go along – you know, it might well be that old notion of:  ‘like-minded people having stuff in common and hitting it off or striking up new friendships?’

I’ll send this off for now but do hope to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[Jacko777]

Hi Mark,

I am glad you are talking about this, you will find lots of people on here that understand what you are going through, like Neil who has posted some great ideas.

Sounds like you have some interests that will get you out there and give you some new positive things to focus on. Stick a bike rack on the 4WD and ride through some new places where there are no cars, that is my plan anyway! Time in nature is never wasted. You say you are kind and reliable, could you maybe spend some time at an old folks home or such, invest some of your time caring for others and I think you will find it rewarding.

I grieved for my parents for a long time. Eventually I found that it was too depressing and I thought, they would not like to see me being so unhappy over them. They would want me to be happy, not sad, I now feel that I honor them by being happy and calm and thinking of them with love, not grief. Takes practice.

20 strangers kinda scares me too! I bet it wouldn't be as bad as it sounds though. Perhaps if you get on with living your life, follow your passions, you will meet new people who might become friends or more. And you will meet some friends here.

Keep us posted and hang in there mate.

[lukain]

yes Neil1 I am still on my Meds -5 years and counting as for activitys the 4WD is a 2 times a year thing since its my friend who is now 800miles away has the 4WD , would be tough to 4WD in my Toyata Yaris 🙂

About meeting new people , well thats a tough one for me as I really have not had to make new friends in 20+ years and I allway feel that I really don't have anything to offer to someone to become my friend , I know I should not feel this way but I do . and thats a challenge I had yet to beat ..

Thanks

Mark

[Nickname_7AC255B4-D0CD-44]

I feel the same Mark