feeling alone

[petals03]

Wasn't quite sure what to post but I'll just be honest.

I am a socially awkward girl who has low self esteem and sleeps too much. I feel no motivation to do anything and when I do go out with friends I become anxious and depressed so I end up leaving early and as I drive myself home late at night I have an emotional breakdown in my car and start yelling at the top of my lungs until I calm myself down. Sometimes I wonder if my friends would even notice if I werenot there.

I'd love to hear how others have stayed positive in tough times and what's a good way of feeling less alone?

[Ebi]

Hi petal03,

Welcome to the BB forum. I'm so glad you've reached out here because hopefully it will soon start feel like you're not alone as people respond to you and your thread develops.

I was struck by the image of you yelling on the way home after leaving early due to not feeling comfortable being out with friends. It reminded me of similar experiences I had when younger, that I had forgotten about... And it reminded me of how I had to learn about what type of socialising worked for me. I used to force myself to go to parties because I thought that was what it meant to be a social person. But I slowly came to accept that I don't really like parties. I prefer smaller, intimate gatherings with friends at my home or a friend's home. I like the way you can have more meaningful interactions in that context. It fills me up and I don't feel bad afterwards. Perhaps you need to find your best way of connecting with people so you don't feel alone?

Thinking of you, Ebi

[Sezi]

Hi Petals, I Can understand how you feel as I can feel the same as what you are going through. Some days can be bad and other days can be good.

Do you have a person that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation with? I have many friends but there is a small circle of a few friends who i can speak and act freely around with no judgement.

Do they know how you are feeling or what are going through?

is there some music that you can sing along to. There are some songs on my playlist that I seem to play depending on how I feel and just listening/singing along (I’m tone deaf) but I end up lifting my spirits a bit.

Finding the motivation to do things is one that I struggle with. One way I try to overcome this is setting one or two goals for the day. It doesn’t have to be big they can be small, I.e doing the laundry or going for a walk.

[Whits]

Thanks for sharing Petals03.

As with the above comments, for me learning which social situations actually make me happy and which I do just to be 'socially acceptable' was really important.

I can go weeks without seeing anyone, just hiding inside my cave (apartment). I've made a real effort to only surround myself with real, authentic friends. I hate parties, I hate small talk. I'm most comfortable with a small group of close friends at a house sharing a nice meal and really connecting.

Motivation can be so tough, but as Sezi said, setting small goals can be really useful. I have a goal for at least one social think a week, even if its just a coffee with a friend.

I try to go for a short walk a few times a week listening to music which lifts me up (Van Morrison always works for me).

Quality over quantity with friends I think is so important. If you have one person in your life who makes you feel safe and heard, nurture that friendship.

And don't forget that you're not alone xx

[Rems]

Dear Friend

All the people who are sucessful in life is just bcoz of one thing ie your mind.. stronger your mind more you can do any thing

if some past incidents in your life or anything which you had, it will create a impression in your mind.as you know a depressed mind will always be searching for negative things.Sad to say if you want to improve, you need to help yourself,no one can except you.When you are pouring your mind with negative things it will be like a putting things bad piling it up.wel l its not easy you need to balance it.

1.When ever you get negative thoughts try to divert your mind to some thing positive

2.Try to buy a digital watch.say for example if the time is 8am.You have to say to your mind that am going to this what ever it within 8.30 am.and you should go for it.Trust me its not easy you have to train your mind.For eg: try to find a person whom you felt comfortable talking,look at your watch /set a time, say to your mind that am gonna call that person within that time.Chat with him.Try to meet him

3.If you feel awkward about any thing or as like you said going for social interaction.Fix a time looking at the watch be it one hour or 2 hours.say to your mind that in that 2 hours what ever happen am gonna do this. iam gonna talk,i will make few friends and come back. Look at the watch if you have done that in that specified time.

as said its not easy but its one of the tip how you train your mind.Just see how are going and let us know.Sorry me if you felt this boring.i just shared a tip to you.pls take care dear.