Fed Up

[DaisyMiss]

Hi Everyone

I eat well, I exercise, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I have early nights, I wakeup early and I feel like this depression is just a road uphill without relief. I have to spend so much time and energy on self care, management, treatment and surviving that I don't have any energy to spend on other ways to use my time and have any sort of life purpose.

I have chosen to be no-contact with my family (except my mother for financial reasons) and removed myself from all the toxic friendships I had accumulated over the years.

I live with ADHD, depression and anxiety and am on ADHD medication (which does help the anxiety and mood a bit, too. I also have a Psychiatrist I see every two weeks or so for psychotherapy.

I feel like I am always either barely holding on, or losing my strength. It is exhausting.

I am 33 years old, was married at 20, divorced at 28, moved almost once every two years on average, had more relationships than I can count on two hands, worked in 21 jobs, changed career three times.... Now, I have been single for a year (which is a first since I was 17), unemployed for almost two years now (for medical reasons) and I have lost all hope of any future for myself.

The show must go on, I know, but I feel so lost and alone and rarely have sustained energy to help myself further.

Does anyone else struggle in this way?

[white knight]

Hi Daisy Miss, welcome

In some ways you've mimicked my life. Im 61yo, retired from 90 jobs, 15 careers, moved many times.

I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety then rediagnosed with bipolar, depression anxiety and dysthymia...a low constant mood. So they are fine lines between them.

Youve already taken steps to protect yourself from toxicity of people. Google

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

Once the waĺls go up then a reassessment of your life can be better achieved without such energy waste and now better focus...on the things that matter. With some things a balance is needed

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Any future relationship needs to be ultra compatible almost no hassle, think along the same lines etc. But for now fine tuning your life there will require some decisions

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Confidence will be chased. Self reconstruction of the confidence wall will take time. Some things cant be rushed.

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Learning about how your mind operates then resecuring your damaged rudder will help

Topic: depression and the timing of motivation- beyondblue

I maintain, for me, that keeping busy helps

Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue

So I hope you get some value trom those links. I'm glad you are here because peer groups can be another tool in your garage to help fight the black dog. There are thousands more threads here like these.

Tony WK

[DaisyMiss]

Tony WK, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to reply and share your experience, comfort, skills and knowledge with me (and us all). I am blown away by your generosity offered here.

[DaisyMiss]

Dear Fellow BB supporters,

I feel humiliated about the text pasted at the end of my Reply to Tony.

In all sincerity and to the respect of what this forum represents, I had no knowledge of it being included AT ALL and to anyone potentially offended by it, I am truly so, so sorry. I am really upset about this. It is completely out of context, too, so now I just look crazy.

I have had enough go wrong in my life, now this.

...Awesome.

First thread ever here. Took me months to write on this forum, now completely screwed up through no conscious intention of my own.

*sigh*

Maybe one day we will all laugh about it? Ugh.

[white knight]

Hi Daisy

Chill, it doesnt matter, I'm already laughing cause I just didn't understand that bit.

Its ok. DOnt feel bad.

Tony WK

[DaisyMiss]

I just burst into laughter after reading your reply, LOL.

Tony, you are an absolute legend. Through and through!!

I can't stop giggling now, haha - The way you wrote your reply was the best... and made me very 'chilled'.

Have an amazing day 😄