Existential depression

[A_Human]

I really can't find a good reason why i should feel depressed. I had a good childhood with supportive parents, but I have struggled with anxiety and depression on and off throughout my life, and it has only gotten worse. Now that I have finished school and gotten a well-paying job that i can tolerate, I'm left with trying to figure out what to do with my life, and I'm really stumped. I really don't know what the point is. I have no friends. I have a good relationship with family but I hide behind a facade. I don't really have anything I'm good at, and there isn't really anything I'm passionate about. I just kind of take the path of least resistance because I have no sense of direction. I have this strong desire for something more, but i don't know how to satisfy it. I really dislike myself but don't know what to change, or who I would want to be. But most of all, I'm scared of death and want to live a meaningful life, but i don't even know if there is such a thing as an objectively meaningful life, or if that even matters. I don't have a clue where to start. Any suggestions on what I can do would be much appreciated. Thanks to everyone.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Human,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for reaching out. It takes courage to do that, and you certainly seem to express yourself quite well.

I would like to start by suggesting that if you haven't already spoken to your doctor, that perhaps you could look into doing that soon. I say doctor because even though you say there is no apparent reason for your depression and anxiety, there could well be some sort of chemical or hormonal imbalance which is causing these symptoms? I am not a professional of any kind though, so I could be wrong .... but nonetheless, it could well be worth a try.

Another thing that is really great for keeping depression at bay, is exercise. Even if it's just a brisk walk around the block, it can be a great 10 to 20 minute activity which could lift your mood significantly.

Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not, but I hope it does help a little bit. And of course, you're welcome here anytime. Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo

[in_tha_mix]

Wow this is like reading my own life story back. I can't offer any advice but I can tell you at least you're not alone in how you feel.