Emotionally attached to someone while depressed

[Relay_for_life]

Hi all , I am new to this whole thing of depression . I am a 37 years old  mum of two beautiful kids . Married and have a settled life . It looks like I have been pushing myself too hard and being taken for granted . I had a conflict with my husband and then collapsed after that . I could not go back to my old me . My problem is that I feel emotionally attached and depending on my GP . He is an old friend as well , he is younger than me and not married. I understand that these are false emotion and that it is not gonna go anywhere due to back ground restrictions as well . I don't want to sacrifice my marriage and life too , but these feelings are killing me .  I feel like a teenager again . Is this something common to happen and if so how can I deal with it ? Thanks 

[geoff]

dear Relay for life, this post has been posted twice, however it's says more than the other post.

There can be a great and difficult problem here, and that's because your doctor is an old friend, single and younger than you, so either way you look at it, this situation could develop into something which you don't want to happen.

I realise that doctors have duty to care for their patients in a professional way, but if he is known to you then I would suggest that you go and see another doctor, and you can do this either by ringing the BB phone number at the top of this page or click onto Get Support' also at the top where you will be able to find a doctor near you.

These doctors are aligned with BB and specialise in mental illness which is having depression.

I don't want to upset the apple cart here, but I believe it's something you should do. L Geoff. x

[Cherpieus]

Hi Relay for Life,

It would be quite natural to turn to someone who is understanding and knows you well in your situation.

I agree with Geoff in that you should change GP's to ensure you get a good perspective on what treatment might be helpful. Not just for your sake but for your friends sake. It could be too tempting for both of you to fall into something you may regret. It is so easy to do that when you are feeling as you are.

I made a mistake in turning to a male (I'm female) when I was experiencing a very bad depressive period in my life and it ruined my life. If I'm going to talk to anyone now I make sure it is someone of the same sex. I don't make friends with men - even men who are married. I don't trust myself to make good judgements when it comes to them, particularly when I'm depressed.

[Relay_for_life]

yes, I was getting used to using the forum that is why I have posted twice and gave more details in the second one . I realise and understand all what you have said and I think it is the only way to go right now . Just find the guts and strength to do it . He is very respectful and honest , nothing unprofessional happened it is just me and I love my husband . I was just trying to understand what is happening to me . I will work on it . Please wish me luck 

[Relay_for_life]

I agree

[Neil_1]

Hi there RFL

These feelings that you are expressing don’t sound as though they are necessarily good for you;  and I say that with regard to how you’ve described your marriage and family, all of which seems to be very functional and happy;  settled, as you mentioned.  Bar for a recent conflict that you had with your husband.

Like Geoff suggested, I too would be recommending you find yourself a different GP to see.

But hand in hand with this, I would be also seeking out some quality time with your husband;  and when I say quality, I mean to find time to sit down and talk and discuss things between the two of you.  You’ve mentioned you’ve got a settled life, married and two beautiful children.  But you also mentioned that you feel you are being taken for granted – and this is something that happens so much;  and it can be either partner that can feel this as well.

I’m guessing you may have bought up the subject with your husband earlier, which may have been what pre-empted your collapse and conflict;  I’m only guessing here, but how that was broached and discussed could well have been the catalyst for your collapse.  Things might have become a little ‘over the top’ and as such, it may have pushed you out of your comfort zone.

I’m just thinking out loud here, but could perhaps some relationship counselling be an option;  to possibly get things back on track between the two of you?

Kind regards

Neil