Do not feed the monster

[Emotions26]

I am struggling to understand this website and find my way around

I have replied to some people

I think that two champions replied to my first two posts

I do not know where they are now

I have supported several posts of others

I have replied to one person I think today

I am resonating with several posts in different areas but cannot remember where they are

I am literally lost within this website as well as within myself

I am working very hard at keeping the dreaded "D" at bay which I have battled with too many times.

I have had this since young apparently

I have had large gaps of time where I am mostly symptom free I think

The monster is the dreaded "d"

It is also a relative whom I have had to relinquish her hold over me.

I have only learnt about this stuff recently so struggle talking about it.

So I think of do not feed the monster as in do not think of her. Or do not feel guilty or upset or worry or a thousand other things

Also do not feed the dreaded "d" as it lurks waiting

I will not find this piece again

[Emotions26]

Hello m&ms

Hugs are most welcome from you.

Trust me they absorb within me when offered.

I am a hugger myself in the real world with those people who have inviting vibes.

Big hugs back.

I hope that the supports you have in place are helping and able to bring some smiles to your face.

I feel that you are a smiling person like me.

Em

[james1]

Hello Em,

So wonderful to hear from you again.

Many hugs to you, and I hope you are having a nice week!

James

[mmMekitty]

I do my best to smile, Em, because when I don't I feel the actual fact that I'm not smiling brings me down, like my unsmiling face drags my mood down, like there is too much gravity pulling me into the ground.

It's not a bad idea to be 'down to earth', but I prefer to be just a bit above the ground, like in some dreams I've had where I have been floating just a few centimetres to a metre off the ground.

Hugzies to you & James, also with a wish for some pleasant days ahead.

mmMekitty 

[Emotions26]

Hello James

What a lovely message to find waiting for me.

I feel that this is who you are as a person. This comes naturally to you.

You like to feel warmth and joy as well as share this with others.

I was feeling teary and slightly weighed down. That feeling that the beast is lurking.

I am managing still to keep the dratted thing at bay.

Your message has helped considerably.

The world is a better place for people like you.

Thank goodness this has already  been recognised by beyond blue and you have been rewarded with the title of Community Champion.

Thank you

Em

[Emotions26]

Hello again M

Ah rhymes with my title Em

I like being silly

Humour is my saviour. It doesn't matter to me anymore if it is only me laughing. My cat listens. Some of the time.

Smiling yes came so naturally then life challenges piling up tried to take it away.

I am still one step ahead of life though in this area at least.

I refuse to have my smile taken away.

Sound like a petulant child now.

Your levitating dream intrigues me.

Were you astral travelling?

Sun is out.

Off to the garden shortly.

One more reply to make

Em

Hugs back

[Emotions26]

OOps posted my reply James without returning more hugs.

With warm smiles

Em

[mmMekitty]

Hi Em,

There are places here on BB where silliness is welcome.

In the BB Social Zone, you can find the little word games, like, my favourite, '5-letter game'. Sometimes I try to add some silliness into 'The BB Cafe'. I also enjoy some silliness in 'Croix Parler' & use 'Last to post wins' like a playground, whenever anyone comes by who would like to play, that is.

You are welcome to come to my own thread, 'Introducing mmMekitty', too, & play or chat - though I will get serious there, when I have things on my mind. 

I'm feeling weighed down, lately, when I also am feeling tired, but I think it's the medication I've been using for a physical problem which is the cause. Sometimes we got to weigh up the benefits vs the adverse side effects of a med. While I can cope with my mood dropping a little, & get through the tiredness, I think the benefits are worth continuing to use the med.

While I am distracted, especially while out with my support worker/s doing things, it's okay. It's when I am home again, or like today, not going anywhere, that I feel I'm struggling with, a little.

Maybe yesterday, I just did a little too much, so today was more difficult. I've been feeling so sleepy, & napping a couple times, too.

Here's something silly. I didn't discover my new fluro pink swim/gym shorts were a little see-through until after I was in the pool.  Note to self: test before going to the pool (like I had intended to)

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Emotions26]

Hello m&ms

m&ms remind me of little smiling faces. 
Sorry to hear that you have bad days sometimes when you do not have support.

I agree with the being tired part as well. Our energy is zapped by our bodies trying to hold us up  emotionally.

Laughed when I read about the fluoro pink swim shorts. I bought some bathers a couple of years ago that had a skirt. As soon as I walked down the steps into the deeper water the skirt floated up. The shorts underneath the colour ran as well. Not a great purchase. So ended up paying much more for a quality bathing suit. 
I am having a break from word games. I can’t keep up with BB cafe. Might look at Croix. Test the waters no with fluoro pink swim shorts though 🙃

Might catch you there. 
Take care and be gentle with you

Em

[mmMekitty]

Hi again, Em

The BB cafe is pretty random, but casual. People usually pop in with a quick 'hello' & maybe something abobut the weather, or some food, something they did like a trip or movie they saw - small talk.

I like to play as LRC (Little Red Cat, as Croix has named me, but I think LRC is a much younger me, but not as young as mmMekitten), having popcorn flavours a cat would like, or eating anything their paws can get a hold of, or lying on the windowsill or atop the pool table, or in the hammock. We've talked aobut songs to play on the jukebox, too.

If that's not something you think you would like to follow, that's okay.

*

I meant to say, last time, about the dreams I have had. I had them long ago. I am not remembering dreams much anymore. When I was young I remembered many vivid dreams.

One of my favourite dreams included me travelling, like hovering, over a parkland garden, with fairly tall flowers in bloom beneath me. My toes were just touching the tops of these flowers, leaves & grass. I floated upright, slowly moving across the field.

I did fly a lot back then, high & low, dancing & soaring - it was so cool!

Once I was practising my (flying) summersaults, low to the ground. When I woke I was so dizzy I fel back onto my bed.

Don't know about it being astral travelling or not. There is no way to prove one way or another. Whether it was or not doesn't matter much to me, anyway, because what ever it was, it was fun. That's what I like most about those dreams.

I hope you have had a good day today.

Hugzies

mmMekitty 

[Emotions26]

Hello m&ms

At the moment I struggle with interchanging conversations.

As I am not on the computer on a daily basis I often don't understand the animal language that is shared. I think it is beautiful though as clearly  resonates with several of you. My head just cannot get around it at the moment.

So I am actually doing as I am told and not putting further pressure on my brain.

I am focusing more on garden time where I find calm and the sounds of nature are like soothing music.

I am fascinated by your dream experiences.

Astral travel was just a term that popped into my head I did not mean to infer that you were literally astral travelling.

I think only you can name the experience should you so choose.

They do sound like exquisite, vivid dreams. I am not sure how common that is.

I have had many vivid dreams over my lifetime. Mine are strange and often when explored refer to what is happening within my emotions. This makes sense to me.

I am also prone to nightmares though and can wake still feeling more in the nightmare than in reality. I cannot watch certain types of films or even read fiction in that genre.

I have spaced out the words to make it easier to read. Is that of help. I cannot remember.

May your day bring a smile to your face. I actually started smiling as I wrote this. Incredible the mind.

Em