Didnt get into the uni I wanted

[adamrr27]

Maybe this is a trivial problem compared to what others go through but I cant help but feel useless. Even though I know that it doesn’t really matter, some part of my brain is convinced I’ve failed at life and its giving me this gnawing pit in my stomach.

Most of my friends go to this particular uni so knowing that I have to go to another one and possibly make new friends terrifies me (I have anxiety). I guess I need reassurance that its not the end of the world? Even though I know it isn't - but my brain is making me feel as though it is, like it’s sabotaging me. This empty hollow feeling in my stomach has been there for days and it won’t let me enjoy anything anymore. Even watching films I love I cant distract myself from it. I honestly feel like getting drunk just to subdue the feeling. I don’t have the closest friends and my parents dont take mental health seriously so I feel isolated with these feelings, which I guess is why I’m here.

[On The Road]

Good evening adamrr27 🙂

you need reassurance that it's not the end of the world, yes it's not the end of the world, but partway with old friends is making people sad, and the uncertainty of going to a new environment and getting to know new people is making it worse. I can resonate with you on this one, I'm a full-grown adult but I want to make friends and keep them just like I would do when I was a teenager, I'm still terrified of entering a new circle, a workplace, new cities etc. I think these are the normal feelings that we validate for ourselves.

Some don't show it they probably know how to keep to themselves better, but no one transit themselves successfully overnight. In your case, unis usually offer a lot of support to help freshmen (eg. counselling), and also many student groups of diverse purposes would help new students in socialising, you may meet some ppl that you click with.

Some would have stronger reactions (like me, or you), it's ok. 🙂 Wanna talk about it with your friends or if you wanna talk on here? It's a welcoming place here so feel free to share more.

[HappyHelper88]

Hello thanks for reaching out

your feelings are always valid and relevant dosnt matter what it may seem compared to other peoples problems

Your not the first person to experience this…I did quite well in uni and didn’t make it into what I wanted either and I ended up changing degrees twice this happens more then you think

i understand the anxiety a new place and a change can be daunting but a good opportunity to be around people with similar interests and lots of social groups

when I left high school I thought it was the end of the world and wouldn’t get to see my friends but the ones who mattered made an effort

I’m so sorry your isolated

Please Remember to reach out if you need any support

we are available by phone 24/7 it can really help to talk things over

I hope this helps

[Petal22]

Hi adamrr27,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry that you didn’t get into the uni you wanted.

I understand having anxiety can make us feel terrified, have you ever seeked professional help for your anxiety? It can really help, a psychologist can give you many strategies to help you to manage your anxiety.

Please make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you are feeling.

You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

Have you ever tried meditation? It’s great for anxiety.

You really can learn to manage your anxiety you just need help from professionals to learn how to.

Here to chat

[geoff]

Hello Adamrr, this is a common problem but certainly a significant one when starting a new job or in your case uni and definitely a fear I also had many years ago with not only finding out whether or not it's the course you wanted to start plus making friends with strange people.

Part of your feelings is not a failure in life, just because your friends have managed to go to another university, I'm sure there were reasons for this, but don't forget many of the people going to your uni would also be feeling exactly the same as you and while some put on a bravo appearance deep down they may be the same as you.

If your parents don't take mental illness seriously then there could be reasons for this but it's a shame you don't have their support but pleased you've come to this site.

Can you just be mindful of the alcohol as it's known as a depressive and won't help you long term.

When you're at uni it's not a matter of rushing out to try and make new friends, this will slowly develop from one class to another, especially if you go to the library and meet someone from a class there where you may want to discuss a problem that's been raised in class time.

Take your time and remember others will be feeling the same as you do.

Best wishes.

Geoff.