Manic Bipolar?

[MissJ94]

Hi all,

For those whove kinda read my posts over the last couple months, still the same! No luck with anything still. Still a ball of stress.

I have bipolar.

But today i really noticed my moods have been all over the place. Woke up feeling good, schools back, routine can start again. Then became really irritated with how slow my son was getting ready, i knew he was nervous to go back and i was just so irritated when he really hadnt done anything wrong. Then was really angry, not at my son at all! But due to the actions of someone else, like furious. Not long later i was extremely anxious and stressed. Then that turned to extreme sadness and spent a solid 30mins crying. Then i kinda zoned out for a while, numb to the fact i have no money, will be out of food in the next few days, cant work right now because i have covid and am in isolation(i got a casual job but yet to formally start, illness and covid for my son and i has pushed my start date back over a month now), numb to the fact that now my good job reference hasnt yet given me a reference on a job i really want and would have if the reference check was done. Just completely numb, sat there staring into space for over an hour. Son got home from school and was in a good mood again asking him about his day, receptive to his emotions from the first day back at school. About 7pm i started to stress again, my mind reminding me that if i dont have another baby soon then ill probably miss my chance for ever having a second baby, the fear came in strongly and really felt sick to the stomach like i was going to vomit. That lasted about 30mins. Then watching MAFS tonight i became overly emotional and jealous. And now sitting here as im about to go to bed i just thought what a bloody draining day its been. Not physically but mentally, emotionally.

Decided to just search "bipolar". Went to images and it had examples of mania vs depression.

Had a look as the mania side. Talking excessively, tick. Racing thoughts, tick. Hostility, at times tick. Less sleep, triple tick(the last couple weeks ive only been getting an average of 6 hours sleep compared to my usual 9-10). Delusions, not that i can think of. Risky behaviour, tick. Distractibility, big tick. Extremely high energy, tick! I have motivation to workout and get stuff done but cant due to being in isolation!

Ive never really noticed mania in myself before.

Those who have, is it normal to have that rapid cycling of moods just in one day?

[quirkywords]

MissJ94

Thanks for your post.
i was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 40 years ago.

In between going up or down I have had a bit of rapid cycling as you described experience mixed emotions on one day.

Some people do have the rapid cycling but not everyone and it can vary from year to year.

Have you looked at black dog Institute website as it has lots of information and research.?

Have you been diagnosed with bipolar. .?

Mania is part of bipolar but some people those with bipolar 2 have more depression and have hypomania.

There is a thread this bipolar life which you may like to browse. We are a friendly lot,

[Maddeline]

Hi MissJ94,

Thank you for sharing. Although I can not speak from experience, I hope that someone who relates can assist you. I just wanted to let you know that you are doing a great job with your son. The only thing that I could recommend is to possibly see a psychologist or a GP. This may help clarify if what you are experiencing is manic bipolar or situational.

Would love to hear from you x

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I didnt read if you were taking medication? I assume so as you said you have bipolar and you wouldnt say that unless diagnosed. If you are not taking medication then that would be the core of the issues you have as you need to be medicated.

Yes, I have bipolar2, all bipolar now called "under the bipolar spectrum", but easier to say 1 or 2. Had it all my life but only diagnosed 2009 at 53yo.

I can say that when proper medication is administered (in my case mood stabilizers) AND psychiatric care AND sorting out any life issues then you can expect progress towards a good but not great life, only great in spurts but good enough to be stable to a degree and content.

Essentially I'm suggesting as in my case I gained some determination to MAKE my life the above and grabbed life with positivity and a plan. That plan included many aspects to help me including-

• Stabilising on medication with ongoing fine tuning to get it right for me
• Therapy sessions
• Removing toxic people from my life
• routine
• 1 month, 1 year, 2 years, 5 years and 10 year plans.
• Stable employment
• Reducing debt
• Relaxation period daily
• spiritual peace
• Hobby
• Sport
• Proactive decision making
• Confidence building

There could me more. What is also very important is not to become engrossed in emotional stuff like getting upset/jealous over MAFS. Get out there and be proactive in finding someone that adores you be it by computer dating or other menas. It doesnt mean you should rush into anything but you deserve a relationship even a slow one developing.

I've got some threads below. You only need to read the first post of each. I know they will help you. I'd love to know your thoughts and we can talk again soon.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/dna-what-you-cant-change

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-vari...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/the-best-praise-you'll-ever-get

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/meditation---words-of-wisdom---...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/worry-worry-worry

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/worry-worry-worry-part-2

There is so many more that I have that could help but I dont want to overload you.

In the meantime remember, I was like you once and in the same boat financially the same as well.

TonyWK

[MissJ94]

Hi,,

I have been diagnosed with bipolar, almost 20 years since the diagnosis in 2004 and been on medication for only about 8 years. But because i was only 10 when i was diagnosed, ive almost been tempted to have a whole new assessment done because ive been told that bipolar isnt usually diagnosed until youre in your teens at earliest. I was only a child when i had my diagnosis. But if its really bipolar or something else, i know theres something not right.

I have looked at the black dog institute a couple times but very briefly. I might go back on and have another look.

[MissJ94]

Thank you,,

In previous posts ive done i have explained that seeing a psychologist is not possible right now due to barely having the money to cover rent. Theres a new GP im planning on seeing soon who has special interests in womens health, child health and mental health so i think that GP is the way to go with my own concerns and that she will be able to point me in the right direction on which psychologist and psychiatrist would be suitable for when i am back to working and can afford those things.

[MissJ94]

Yeah i am taking medication! Have been for about 8 years. Because its been 8 years i did want to see a psychiatrist again to possibly have it reviewed because im really sick of feeling exhausted and tired and foggy all the time, especially in the morning, it will take me half the day to fully wake up.

See and i think thats my issue. Though i am medicated, im not receiving psychiatric care and i havent been able to sort out life issues particularly in the last few months when i was pretty much forced to leave my job due to someone harassing, bullying and stalking me and management not doing any thing about it. It severely deteriorated my mental health to the point i was doing very destructive behaviours again before i would go to work. Its taken the last few months to try to manage all that on my own and i know at some point im going to have to take the lid of that and pour it all out to really deal with it instead of lock it up at the back of my thoughts.

I cant help but giggle at removing toxic people though! I only have 8 other people in my life. Only 5 i regularly talk to. 3 of those are my son, niece and nephew. The other 2 are my mum and a guy im kinda dating. Other than that theres no one.

I look at that list and wish i could achieve those things. Stable employment, friendships, reducing debt, getting back into my hobbies(cant pick them up due to financial issues due to poor job stability).....

I guess MAFS only gets be emotional and jealous because for a very long time i thought i would be married by 26 and be having more kids with this great husband and having a great life. Almost 28 and none of that has hapened, ive accepted it but theres still that part of regret, guilt. If anything the years leading up to turning 26 made me really feel physically sick at the thought of being with another guy due to previous abuse experienced from my ex(not sons father), abuse that is yet to be talked about in a session! Im just afraid to unpack all that stuff because i know ill be an emotional mess. But this guy im now kinda dating may have changed those views on men. Its been about 2 years weve been talking, were both shy as hell and have only met face to face once so far due to covid. But he and I have stuck around this long! So hopefully it leads to something more this year....

Thanks for those threads! ill check them out!

[white knight]

Thanks for answering all of us. Great attitude.

I know what it's like to be poor in the past. Just keep the goals in the back of your mind that requires money.

Think about making a candlelit dinner for your guy. Big hint time to take things to the next level. Nudge nudge.

I'm a romantic at heart. I like MAFS. Wife does too. When the Texan cried so did I!!!

Although not professional help we are a 24/7/365 site so we can be really supportive

WK