Hi, I haven't been here for a while, I used to be part of the forums struggling with Depression and anxiety, well I'm back. I am terrified of my latest diagnosis of a large cancerous tumor in my bowel which needs to be removed in the next few weeks after delays due to just how busy the hospitals are. I'm scared, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I can't think straight, I'm in pain at times but have strong medication. I have addictions I need to stop pretty much asap! I pray, I cry, I shake and deeply hurt by hurting others by my diagnosis. I think of chemo all the time, the operation, my life. I'm not coping. I haven't told my father and don't know how to, his old and already lost his wife his brother, 2 sons and grandson in the past ten years. I know you can't do anything about any of this but if just one person could pray for me I would be grateful. I'm sad by what this virus has done to the world, the heartache it has caused for so many people, the personal stories I hear, the depression lockdown is causing. I try make the most of the times I feel okay, both physically and mentally but I just fall to pieces sometimes. I'm trying to be strong and pray the lord will give me the strength I need. I'm not brave, nor do I think I deserve the love I get sometimes for some reason, but please look after each other and help each other, please do something kind for someone because it makes so much of a difference in someone's life. We are all in this together. Thank you for listening. Xxx
