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Depression

AnimalLover2
Community Member

Hello, it’s been a while since I last posted, just too flat to even talk to anyone. I keep going to bed at every opportunity again. Still caring for my elderly mother and grandchildren but underneath all I can think about is when I can go back to my room. On days off I stay in bed all day, no enthusiasm to even take a shower etc. does anyone else out there ever feel the same way?

15 Replies 15

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear AnimalLover…

 

I am so very sorry that your struggling so hard with what your going through…

 

You are looking after after your mother, grandchildren they are both very hard and emotionally draining jobs….You have a beautiful soul, looking after both your mother and grandchildren….but you also need to try as hard as you can to look after yourself as well…

I have felt the same way as you are, and it’s a really hard spot to get out off on your own…I’m  wondering if you have any professionals looking after you and your mental health…if not,  if it’s okay I would like to gentle urge you to talk to your Dr. about how your feeling…and get the help you so much deserve….Depression sometimes makes us only want to sleep as we have no energy to care for ourselves…..as well as a diagnosis….maybe your Dr could help you with seeing a social worker to help organise some extra care for your beautiful elderly mother….

 

Sounds like your room is a kind of safe retreat away from all the duties you are carrying out….and it helps you to relax a little, maybe dear AnimalLover, if you could try some mindfulness exercises or some meditation to give your mind and body a rest….

AnimalLover, it’s so really important that you try hard to also give yourself some self care…I know that can be very difficult, but your health is also very important…

 

Here if you feel up to talking….my kindest thoughts and my care Dear AnimalLover..

 

Grandy..

 

 

Bob_22
Community Member

Hi AnimalLover2,

 

Welcome back and thank you for posting. Im sorry to hear that you've felt stretched as of late and are struggling with lack of motivation. I very  much feel the same way quite often. Ever since being diagnosed with major depressive disorder motivation has been a challenge especially before I was medicated. Fortunately, there are ways to help this. One of them, as Ggrand mentioned, is through the support of a professional. My psychologist has helped me with CBT techniques that help me with my motivation and overall mood during the day. A simple tip I found is to try and make a routine and stick to it. But make sure the routine includes time to relax or do things you enjoy and is not too full on. It is important you have your down time and to do things you like during this. I prefer exercise, reading or playing video games. Another important tip is to make sure you stay in touch with people outside your immediate family/household. Even if it is only one conversation a week as this is important for your social connection which is highly linked to our intrinsic motivation/energy levels. Please keep us updated on how you're going or if you find any tips that help you  which you could share with others. Hope my post helped you a little bit and please know, you're not alone. 💙

 

Bob

HisOwn
Community Member

Hello Animal Lover..yes I have felt like that many times and in fact at one point I did not leave my bedroom for weeks except for toilet and eating and showering..and I felt like doing neither of those basics too. 

 

I am a Carer for adult daughter with a disability so she had to fend for herself during that time and she did amazingly..

 

So because of this I actually decided to go on medication which has definitely helped. 

 

I was not good at exercising so what I did instead was give myself some little chores that I told myself I HAD to do before going back to bed. 

 

I also forced myself to go out and do something that I used to enjoy in the past - which for me was going to the op shop. It was hard to do because I didn't enjoy it much but I made myself chat to people there and stayed as long as I could and when I got home I did actually feel a tiny bit better.

 

So I built on that..just set myself little goals like that each day and slowly but surely, along with the medication I have started to come good and achieving a bit more each day.

 

I am not 100 percent yet but I am telling myself each day that I will get well again and Ive also noticed small pockets where I actually can feel positive and happy so this increases my hope too.

 

Hope you also have some sort of practical support with caring for your elderly mum and grandchildren? That would be extremely draining and can add to any depression. There are Carers Support organisations around that offer all sorts of assistance..not sure of exact name of them..one had the word "Carers" in it so you could perhaps Google that?

 

Anyway hope those tips helped a bit 🤗

Richju
Community Member

Dear AnimalLover2,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so low and wonder what thoughts you are having. I have had depression like that because I used to think I was useless but I've since discovered that's not the case.  Our minds give us a lot of negative thoughts about ourselves but they are just thoughts and not real. I try not to engage with my thoughts, just letting them pass through my mind and saying to myself 'that's in the past'.

You seem to have a lot on your plate, caring for your Mum and your grandchildren and you also appear to work. That's a lot for anyone. No wonder you want to rest.

I was interested that you call yourself AnimalLiover. Do you have a pet? I believe pets are a great help with depression.

AnimalLover, you sound like a really caring person but I wonder how much you care for yourself. I know it sounds a bit silly when you feel so tired but even just a little exercise is helpful. Even ten minutes every now and again can make a huge difference also the doctor might be able to help you.

I hope this has been helpful.

Warmest regards,

Richju

Richju
Community Member

Yes AnimalLover2, I have felt like that and I admire you for looking after you family members ehen you are so unwell yourself. I think you are very caring and brave to do this alone.

Have you discussed this with your GP? I'm sure they could help and may be able to put you in touch with an organisation that can help support your family members while you get well.

There is help out there. Please don't feel you have to go through this alone.

Warmest regards,

Richju xx

Dear Bob, I have been trying to write to everyone who contacted me going back to nov 22!! I actually gave up trying to navigate my way through B.Blue and just couldn’t get the hang of it. In fact Ihave just posted another HELP on this site as I could not find my replies again ! I feel so ridiculous as now I have just found your post to me! It has taken me weeks to reply to all the kind people out there who did respond to me and I didn’t even know it. Yes I was diagnosed with pretty much the same condition then changed to PDSD by another Dr. just recently. I did go into recluse for a very long time and found the world very overwhelming. I was wearing so many hats and covering up my depression and lack of motivation by using as many excuses as I could find. My circumstances changed dramatically with a medical diagnosis and surgery early this year and have been in recovery ever since. It was then I confided to my family that I was not coping mentally and was on medications just to function. It is a great comfort to talk to someone without judgment, and who feels the same frustration of “why am I like this”? As I said I am going one by one to every single person who wrote back to me so long ago to thank them for their support and understanding. I hope you are feeling better too and have found joy and peacefulness in your life since you last posted your reply to me. I am so happy to have found your reply as I was ready to give up again after all day trying to access my content on B.B. I’m not very techno savvy and get very confused. After having a very responsible position in a Gov. Dept. and using a computer every day years ago, this just added to my frustration and made me feel so inadequate. I Amin the process of coming off a medication and starting something different, and pray this might give me a boost of enthusiasm for life again. I’m afraid I don’t have any routines at all at present……..every day is different in mood, and tiredness is still my enemy. Since my medical health issue and very long recovery, my mental health has sort of been put on the back burner. I can’t do much exercise still but I certainly love going back to bed and watching something on utube etc. or just napping! I still get very tired and just writing this has taken me ages to focus. I just wanted to say thank you again …….. there are some wonderful people out there who really care enough to help others and you are one of them. Regards, A.L.2

Dear His Own, I am so sorry I could not access your reply which was a long time ago…… I will write again (very tired at present) but just wanted you to know how grateful I am to you for caring enough to reply and give me some good advise. I feel so much better knowing that someone else out there couldn’t get out of bed too! A lot has transpired since your reply and my circumstances have changed quite a lot. Everything you said rang a bell for me so I thank you again. I hope your life has changed for the better and you have found some joy and peacefulness. You are an inspiration for me. I hope I can find you again on B.B. to speak to you again as I get lost continually on this site. Warmest regards A.L.2

Thank you Richju! I will keep in touch if that’s ok with you…….. very tired at present and can’t write any more. Regards A.L. Ps yes I have a zoo at home! 

Hi AnimalLover2,

 

I completely understand with the forums. They can be difficult to navigate even at the best of times. I'm sorry to hear about your medical issues but am glad you were able to find some clarity recently with a doctor. I hope this is a good step in your recovery. Yes it can be hard to find energy on the back of surgery and with mental health issues, specifically mood disorders. Be sure to keep in touch with your doctor regarding your changing medication. I hope it helps and that you find a lift soon. Feel free to reach out or just update us on how you're going. I'm glad you find the forums a great place to relate and connect with others. Keep up the good work.

 

Bob