Falling into a depressive cycle comes with many changes. Most if not all these changes are not welcome, tiredness, physically drained, moods and sadness. Sadness often due to the invisible cage of which we are imprisoned. No wonder others that havent been touched by the illness cannot help us. In fact, helping ourselves is paramount because of that.
We can take our meds
we can talk on the phone
without the words from similar
we are all alone
After all we are born alone. Connection to parents is there but we are separate in so many ways. Comfort from friends and relatives can only go so far. With spouses we expect so much more, after all they are our soul mate right? But they have limits also. Our lack of motivation can stretch the friendship as pressure mounts in their daily lives.
Hi ho hi ho off to work he goes
who he can talk to nobody knows
he carries the burden of his life for two
on the brink if only you knew...
And so the balance of support and care is limited for us in that "hole". For some sufferers a word of encouragement is enough to spark us into a burst of happiness and ignore our dark mind. For others nothing is enough. Tokenism is powerful as it displays intent, it shows endeavour. At least tokenism is present when there is nothing else to receive. But life is a balance and if that balance is not there with your spouse or carer then extra burden mounts on them.
She drives away as I sleep forever
No motivation, no sound, no endeavour
I wake to answer the phone - some friend
to the bathroom and my needs contend
As she returns from a hard day carer for me
surely I can make her a cup of tea?...
And so that tokenism makes a carers fall soft. No one said depression was easy. It use to be "till death us do part" but really now its "till I'm done-separation will come". We must nurture our relationships and its that little token of care that when given, we help balance that see-saw of the ramifications of a mental illness on our loved ones.
I put all my care in a glass jar
my spouse, my love takes it afar
she said we are forever and I surely agree
Hers in my jar and I carry it with me
and on occasions I twist her lid
use every bit of strength to fulfil my bid
place some care of my own real deep
then curl up again and fall to sleep...
All spouses need reassurance. It is the very essence of ensuring they are not taken for granted. Tokenism is a link in the chain of your partners necklace along with gratitude and others...
TonyWK
